If Things Were Different
by Lluniwr Geiriau
Summary: If things were different not much would've changed, there's still a quell, a rebellion, a war but what if it wasn't Katniss who took Prim's place? This is how a rebel becomes a victor, a victor a wife and a wife a mother. How nothing and everything would've changed if things were different.
1. Chapter 1

I find Prim in the twelve year old section and manage a tiny smile when she looks back at me over her shoulder, she can't return it and only manages a pained grimace. Her cheeks are still wet but her nose twitches as she tries to hold back a fresh wave. When she turns away from me I look across to the boys to find Gale, he's already looking at me. I give him the same barely-there smile I gave Prim and he mouths the words 'you okay?', I nod, it's a lie. His eyes move from me to Prim then Rory. He's doing the same thing I am, watching the people he loves like our gaze can keep them safe, like they'll be taken while you're not looking. As Effie Trinkett takes to the stage I do one last round. Prim, Rory, Gale. I hold my breath like everyone else when Effie proclaims

"Ladies first" her clawed fingers rummage in the bowl for a few eternal moments before her hand emerges clasping a single folded piece of paper. She teeters over to the microphone and takes her sweet time unfolding the small strip "Primrose Everdeen" I stand in frozen horror, no! She only had one slip! One!

"No" I whisper, pushing my way through the crowd

"Where are you dear?" Effie calls again. Prim stands alone in the Centre of the square and hesitantly takes another step toward the stage

"No Prim, Prim!" Peacekeepers keep me from running to her, they begin to pull me back when I open my mouth to scream

"I volunteer!" the words echo across the square but they aren't mine, I take the opportunity to free myself and run to Prim, I hold her tight to me but then the peacekeepers are moving towards us "I volunteer" the grip on my arm loosens but doesn't disappear "leave them be, I volunteer" had Madge Undersee not held the status she did the peacekeepers probably wouldn't have listened. Gale has to usher myself and Prim towards the crowds at the back of the square but not once do I take my eyes off Madge's back. Her shoulders lift with a deep inhale then she steps onto the carpet to make her way to the stage.

"Well well, who do we have here? What's your name dear?" Effie chirps unmistakably flustered

"Madeline Undersee"

"Ladies and gentlemen, our very first volunteer and your female tribute Madeline Undersee" Effie trills, the mayor looks distraught as he shakes his daughters hand, I'm just happy its not Prim. As soon as I register my thoughts guilt tears through me but I can't help them, Prim is safe that's what's most important

"This is bullshit!" Haymitch Abbernathy, drunkard and 12's only victor staggers from his chair, his words slurred but full of ... rage? "this is BULLSHIT!" he repeats "you!" he zig zags towards a camera and thrusts his finger towards it "you're bullshit!" he can only be addressing the Capitol. I gain a small sliver of respect for Haymitch Abbernathy, it disappears as quickly as it came when he plummets from the stage head first

"Now, the boys" Effie carries on quickly, tutting at Haymitch as he's dragged away unconscious. I can't take my eyes from Madge, she stares straight ahead, she doesn't look at any of us, or anyone, she stares out towards the mines, the mountains, she'll probably never see them again. Effie's nails stir the slips of paper for a few seconds before she selects one, she opens it and steps closer to the microphone "Orion Meadows!" Prim whimpers into my neck and Gale blows out a breath of air beside me. Gale has been friends with Orion's older brother Thom for years, next year would've been his last year "come on you two, shake hands" Effie says clearly put off by the reapings events. Madge offers her hand out to Orion but he eyes it skeptically before taking it "ladies and gentlemen your tributes for the 73rd annual Hunger Games Madeline Undersee and Orion Meadows!" Effie quickly continues with a huge grin and a small round of applause, her smile falters as she's met with silence. No one ever claps but the silence has never been quite this loud, it speaks volumes, it says we do not agree. We do not condone. All of this is wrong.

Gale lets go of me and raises three fingers to his lips then towards the stage, Thom follows then some more of their friends, then me then one by one every member of district 12 raises their hand with a three fingered salute. It's thanks, it's admiration, it's goodbye to someone you love and for saving Prim I can't help but love Madge.

The justice building is cold, which is strange as it's the only building in 12 that is heated all day without fires, not even Madge's house has central heating, that's what she'd called it. Madge. My silent lunch partner, who became my first real friend besides Gale, Madge, the girl who never forced me to talk about anything and offered company in exchange for a sort of friendship. Kind, sweet, intelligent, beautiful Madge is going into the hunger games, with Orion. A boy so full of life and energy soon to be taken away from him.

Prim clings to my side as Orion's family is saying goodbye while the mayor says goodbye to Madge, her mother is not well enough. I'm next to go in with her, Delly Cartright weeps on the bench beside me, she is comforted by a sullen Peeta Mellark, Peeta Mellark, the boy I owe my life, my families lives, another person I'm yet to thank for what they've done for me. Leevy, Orion's cousin, my neighbor has her face in her hands.

The mayor opens the door and all I can manage is a nod of acknowledgement before disappearing behind it. Madge is like stone as I sit beside her, no tears, no shaking, no fear. She is the mayor's daughter and by default the best of actresses, they wont break her. It's so wrong for them to try.

"Thank you. For saving my sister"

"What was I supposed to do?"

"Nothing Madge, it wasn't for you to do but you'll never know how grateful I am" she smiles feebly

"Thank you Madge" Prim cries and hugs Madge around her neck "for saving my life and Katniss', thank you"

"Of course Prim"

"You're smart Madge and fast, you know how to act around them" I ramble in a vain attempt to quell some of my guilt, soft, kind Madge isn't the type of person who wins the Hunger Games "you can beat them" I whisper, not the other tributes - the gamemakers, the capitol, she nods and I embrace her

"Katniss" her voice is monotone "I want you to know ... you ... you were always a great friend to me"

"Madge" I mumble feebly

"I mean it, I may not have shown it but I always thought of you as my friend"

"You'll always be my friend Madge"

"Be safe Katniss"

"You too Madge".

I leave the justice hall with what feels like a brick of guilt sitting in my gut. I tug Prim closer to my side, she's safe, that's all that matters. Only it's not. Madge is going to die and it's all because I couldn't protect Prim before she could. I'm going to live and she's going to die.

My mother has pulled it together enough to put a kettle of water to boil, it's barely bubbling by the time Gale knocks on the front door

"Are you alright?" I nod, it's a lie again. I'm not the only person in the seam who has an aversion to being in someone's debt and this is a debt that can never be repaid "how's Prim?"

"Distraught" he nods "you didn't go to the justice building?"

"It's better he has time with his family" I nod "you saw-"

"Madge" I cut him off "yes"

"Ma says you should watch the games with us" I nod "I'm going to the hob, for white liquor, Thom will need it tonight" I nod "sorry about your friend Catnip" I nod once more and close the door behind him only to collapse against it.


	2. Chapter 2

We're gathered in the square and for the first time in my life I want to see the screen. Mayor Undersee takes the stage looking no different than usual and he drawls on and on with the same speech he gives every year but I can't be the only one who notices the catch in his voice whenever he says the word tribute. We're welcomed to the opening of the games by Ceaser Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith, two of the most annoying men alive I'm sure. They natter about how exciting and special and wonderful it all is, as if I didn't feel sick enough.

"And now" Ceaser squeals like a little merchant girl "for the tribute parade!" they continue to take it in turns to gush about anything and everything as the first few horse drawn chariots make their way to the presidents mansion.

District 1's tributes are both obvious careers, a stocky boy with glossy beige hair and a lanky dark haired girl with very little muscle. They both volunteered. District two are much the same, a muscular mousy haired boy and a smaller dark haired girl but unlike the others who simply wave impassively she giggles and blows kisses and waves her hands about enthusiastically as if she's known the recipients all her life. They both volunteered. District 3 is heartbreaking, a tiny little thing that immediately reminds me of Gale's brother Vick, he's about 14 but looks no older than 10 and he's dwarfed next to the towering form that is his district partner. She's surly faced with wiry hair and sharp eyes and looks like she has enough power to reach over and snap the boys neck with a flick of her wrist. District 4's tributes also volunteered, that means more careers and they're an intimidating pair. They're both toned, muscular, broad, powerful.

Flickerman and Templesmith continue to ramble, they're currently talking about how fabulous the tributes' stupid costumes are. I mean 4 were dressed as fish! The other districts' costumes are equally idiotic especially because the people wearing them look so pathetic, most have given up already.

"Two power plant workers" Ceaser chuckles "and- what is that?" on the huge screen in the square it's just a glow, an amber blur in the tribute tunnel under the training center but as the carriage draws closer I see the flames "what is that?" Ceaser exclaims. It's 12, I realize, their carriage. Madge and Orion atop it adorned in flames. Orion looks incredible, his dark hair and skin striking against the flame, the high collar of his patent black jumpsuit framing his angular jaw and strong features. Beside him Madge is simply heart stopping. Again the collar of her outfit is creating a frame for her face, the neckline is much lower cut and plunges down to a point just above her navel, the skin on show is dusted with bronze powder that makes her skin seem alive under the flame. She has the same powder on her cheeks, giving her high and prominent cheekbones, her lips are painted a dark maroon and her eye lids are smoky with thick dark lines and lashes. Her hair has been plaited loosely at her crown and scraped back into a high ponytail which is sleek and straight down her back. The two of them stand strong and sturdy while they're leaving the tunnel and the flames are reflected by their eyes making them look other worldly. When they reach the screaming crowds of capitol socialites Orion places his hand on top of Madge's at the center of the chariot and they wave with their free hands.

People around me cheer and whistle. Gale even murmurs and quiet 'woah' beside me but I can't take my eyes from Madge. The capitol are awestruck, 12 is awestruck, I am awestruck. When their chariot comes to a sudden stop the flames billowing out behind them vanish and they drop their hands but just before the image changes to one of president snow I see their closest hands are still clasped.

"That was amazing" Prim gasps her eyes still staring up at the screen as the chariots pull away

"Yes it was" I agree

"Did you see how beautiful she looked?"

"Mmmhmm"

"And Orion looked so strong"

"Yeah, they looked great Little Duck"

"Best I've ever seen 12 dressed" Gale murmurs

"Yeah"

"Let her keep her pin though" he adds

"What?"

"Her pin, she was wearing it the morning of the reaping, when we traded and she was wearing it then"

"She was?"

"Yeah, on her left"

"Oh, I didn't notice" and I hadn't, I hadn't seen anything but Madge after my first glimpse of her.

I walk home with my mother, Prim and the Hawthorne's only to realize I haven't traded anything since the morning of the reaping. I go to the makeshift ice box on the porch and take out two butchered squirrel and three rabbits, leaving the smallest for our meal tomorrow. I put them at the bottom of my game bag and put the few coins I have left from Madge's trade in my pocket.

The square is mostly cleared spare for a few stragglers and I keep my head down making a B-line for the hob. It's surprisingly busy, most having come here straight from the square to spite the extra peace keepers. Greasy Sae takes two of the rabbits off my hands for a few more coins and a bowl of whatever those rabbits go in to. I barter for a length of yellow ribbon that Prim would love in the hopes it'll lift her spirits even a fraction. Paying a little more for it than I'd hoped I go back to town and sell the remaining rabbit to Rooba the butcher. She eyes the squirrel meat too but they are always saved for Mr. Mellark.

I knock on the back door of the bakery knowing the bakers evil swine of a wife isn't likely to be around

"Katniss" Mr. Mellark nods "you have squirrel?" he asks excitably rubbing his hands together

"Yes" I nod letting my lips curl up just slightly

"I've had a hankering for them for days now"

"Well you're in luck" I tell him pulling the parcels of meat from the bottom of my game bag

"Oooh goodie" he grins and my lips quirk up again "come in for a minute" he gestures for me to follow him in as he often does and as usual I'm won over by the smell of freshly baked goods. I only stand just inside the door though, never any further. I fidget and move my weight back and forth from foot to foot until Mr. Mellark returns and walks rite into me like he didn't know I was there. Only when large hands come to rest on my arms and help me regain my balance I look up and it's not Mr. Mellark

"Katniss" Peeta Mellark whispers "I-I'm sorry, I didn't see you"

"I..."

"You must be trading with dad?"

"Yes"

"How are you?"

"I- F-fine" I stammer. Every impulse tells me to scream the words thank you at this boy, every time I see him the words bubble up in my throat but always get trapped and choke me before reaching my lips

"I'm sorry about your friends" I shrug, not as sorry as me

"Madge was your friend too rite?" the truth is I'm not entirely sure, I think they hung out as kids but can't be sure

"Yeah" now Katniss. Do it now

"Look I-"

"Here you are Katniss" Mr. Mellark interrupts "oh Peeta" Mr. Mellark says handing me a wrapped parcel I assume is my usual payment of a loaf of bread

"Thank you" I murmur quickly, backing out the door so quickly I trip slightly over the step. I'm half way down the street when I notice the loaf of bread isn't the only thing in the parcel, there's also a paper bag and when I open it I find three beautifully decorated butter cookies. With a groan I turn on my heel and rap on the Mellark's back door

"Oh Katniss, you're back" Peeta startles

"I had to return these" I say holding up the bag

"They're for the squirrel"

"Look" I gripe "your dad over pays as it is, I don't need charity"

"It's not charit-"

"Just take them will you" I say thrusting the bag at him again, his eyes get determined and he crosses his arms over his chest

"No"

"What?"

"You heard me, no"

"Stop being stubborn" I snap and he begins to laugh "don't laugh at me" I murmur more hurt that I care to admit

"I'm sorry, I'd never laugh at you Katniss. It's just ... you're the most stubborn person I know"

"You don't know me" I state

"No, I don't" he says almost sadly "I'd like to though" and that really rattles me

"Take the damn cookies Mellark"

"No, they're for you ... and Prim" I narrow my eyes at him and his low blow "please Katniss, take them" reluctantly I drop my hand to my side

"Thanks" I murmur, Peeta nods and I realize I can't leave here without thanking him for the bread. With Madge gone I can't stand the thought of never thanking him "for the bread"

"No problem" he grins

"No, the bread, from before"

"Oh" his eyes widen and he stands straighter "oh, there's no need to thank me"

"Don't shrug it off, I'm thanking you"

"Then you're most welcome Katniss, anytime" he says seriously

"Bye"

"Good bye Katniss".


	3. Chapter 3

We eat a basic meal of broth and the last of the bread I traded with Mr. Mellark. Prim hasn't been quite as sullen since I showed her the perfect cookies from Peeta but it only reminds me that without his kindness she'd never have a treat like that. I could never provide for like that. After our meager meal we go to the Hawthornes' to watch the scores. We haven't heard much from the capitol, only that the tributes are training and the odds of each tribute. As it is, the bitter faced girl from 3 and the boy from 4 are favorites. When Ceaser Flickerman appears on the screen the quiet conversations happening around the room die out and we all turn our attention to the television. The boy from 1 gets a 10, the girl an 8. Both from 2 get 9's. The little boy who reminds me of Vick gets a 4, his district partner a 10. Both from 4 get 10's. It's the highest scoring career pack in years. The other districts range between 3 and 7. The boy from 8 manages to get himself an 8 but that's it

"From District 12" Ceaser continues "Orion Shelton, with a score of 8"

"That's a career score" Gale laughs in disbelief, I give him a look that says 'don't get too excited'

"And finally from District 12, Madge Undersee, with a score of ... 11"

"11!" Madge got an eleven, even Prim and Gale screaming it doesn't make it any more believable "Princess got an 11! How the hell did she manage that?"

"She's really smart Gale and fast" I defend her, Madge never deserved all the crap Gale gave her. I hate that it took her saving my sister to make me see it

"That's not enough to get an 11! I bet it's because her dad's the mayor, spoilt brat!" Gale spits

"Gale Hawthorne" his mother yells "you will have yourself some respect for that poor girl. If she can earn herself a score like that to go into the games then good for her" Hazelle had been oddly quiet until now, not in a 'this is so terrible I have nothing to say' kind of way like she usually is during the games, but in a 'reflective, deep in thought' kind of way

"Ma, she's-" Gale tries

"No!" Hazelle cuts him off sharply "that girl's done more for this District and this family than you'll ever realize so you have some respect when you speak about her" Hazelle powers from the room in an angry blur and a door closes as harshly as it can without coming off its hinges in the Seam. I've never seen Hazelle that angry. Ever. My mother quickly rushes after her, it's the most she's done all night

"What?" Gale looks at me

"How should I know? But your mother's rite Gale, you don't know Madge"

"Neither do you! Sure you sit together at lunch but how much do you actually talk?" he scoffs

"No less than I spoke to you at first" I argue

"She's just some spoilt brat, what's everyone getting in a huff about?" all of a sudden Posy is hitting Gale in the face with a worn cushion

"Miss Madge gave me a cookie! She's nice!" Posy shouts in Gale's face before stomping off the same direction as her mother

"And gives me books" Vick murmurs quietly before leaving. Prim follows silently

"She saved Prim's life" Rory whispers without even looking at Gale. When Rory's gone Gale frowns at the screen

"She's not so bad you know, if you got to know her you'd see" I feel a hypocrite but it has to be said. I've never given her the credit she deserves and I'm a terrible person for letting Gale treat her the way he did

"Like you know her Catnip" Gale snorts

"I know her enough, all you had to do is try"

"When would I have ever got the chance to 'get to know' her?"

"You had years, if you had just tried when we made trades rather than hurling insults at her you'd understand"

"You never cared about her this much before"

"Because she hadn't just volunteered for Prim!" I scream, like really scream, so loud it feels like something in my throat tears "Don't you realize I was seconds away from doing it myself"

"Catnip-"

"No, you're wrong and you know it" I say harshly then take a deep breath "she's saved our lives countless times Gale, not just today but every time we needed that little bit extra it was always her trades that got it. I don't think people would pay that much for strawberries even in the capitol" I take a few steps towards the door then turn back "I never told you this because I promised Rory I wouldn't but ... he signed up for tessera"

"What?" Gale's face pales and he grips the cushion Posy threw at him so tight his nails threaten to tear thought the fabric

"Madge wiped the record"

"What?"

"You heard me, Madge Undersee, at the risk of being arrested, becoming an avox and who knows what else, broke into the justice building to remove your brothers name from the tessera census"

"That's impossible" he whispers

"Yet she did it" I mutter before striding out into the street

"Wait Katniss wait!" Gale trips out of his front door trying to catch up with me "why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"Because she asked me not to. Do you know what they'd do to her if they knew? She only told me so I'd stop worrying about Prim"

"I'm sorry, I didn't, I didn't know all that"

"You didn't know anything about her, except that she lived in a big house and had nice clothes. You didn't think to question why. She has a big house because anyone who comes here from the capitol has to stay there. Do you know how many times she's woken up in the middle of the night to find some man three times her age trying to climb into her bed. Do you know how most of the pretty things she owns have been gifts from those old men, or her father to apologies for not doing anything about it. How many times she's had to sit silently while people insult her family and her way of life. She mite have money Gale but she hasn't got it easy!" And as I say the words I realize I'm as angry at myself as I am him. I knew that stuff and never did anything about it. Never even offered to listen and Madge would never ask for help, she'd suffer in silence

"Katniss I didn't know"

"And now that you do?"

"I'll never speak badly of her again" I shake my head and press my eyes shut to keep from crying

"Not good enough Gale! After all she's done!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know".


	4. Chapter 4

Things are still tense when we return to the square to watch the interviews the night before the games. I haven't spoken to Gale since the scores were televised but our families stand together in the square. The interviews are uneventful, the careers, for the most part play dangerous deadly and confident. The girl from 2 all but offers herself to Ceaser. The boy from 4 grunts his answers and everyone else just seems terrified or resigned. Until Madge.

"Here she is, you know her as the girl on fire, from district 12, Madge Undersee!" Madge takes the stage in a beautiful floor length red gown incrusted with jewels that move to look like fire, her hair is pinned in to an intricate bun of curls and braids at the base of her head, leaving her gold dusted neck and shoulders on show. She is breath taking "hello my dear" Ceaser kisses Madge's hand and guides her to her seat

"Good evening Ceaser" she smiles softly "everybody else" she tilts her head at the audience and they cheer "Mr. president" Madge curtsies and President Snow actually nods back. I can sense Gale's discomfort beside me, he's dying to say something, I glare at him and he turns back to the television

"My my, don't you look delicious" Ceaser chuckles

"Oh stop" Madge blushes and bats at Ceaser like they're old friends. She settles herself in the plush seat opposite Ceaser and although her back is straight as a board and her hands are folded neatly in her lap, she looks completely comfortable

"I understand back in district 12 your father is the mayor?"

"Yes" Madge nods "he's so proud" that's a lie, he's a wreck

"I don't doubt that, tell me, what did he say to you before you left?"

"He told me how happy he was, that he's glad I'm helping to make our nation a better place"

"And are you glad?"

"Of course, just look at how lucky I am" Madge gushes

"A little birdy told me you've taken a liking to our red velvet cupcakes" Madge giggles and her cheeks turn rosy

"Guilty" she smiles and holds up her hands "I've never had them before, I'll have to refrain from now on though. A moment on the lips a life time on the hips" Madge giggles again and the audience laugh with her

"Now Madge"

"Yes Ceaser" she sits up and mimics his tone

"You managed a score of 11, that's very impressive for anyone, let alone someone from an outlying district. Tell us, how did you do it?" Madge leans in closer and pauses for a few seconds until Ceaser too leans in

"If I told you I'd have to kill you" Madge smiles devilishly, Ceaser and the Capitol audience raw with laughter

"Isn't she charming ladies and gentlemen?" Madge gushes as the Capitol applaud and scream their agreement

"Now someone that charming and beautiful is bound to have a special someone back home. Is there someone? A boyfriend? A girlfriend? A crush?" Ceaser lifts his eyebrows suggestively and for the first time Madge looks uncertain

"No" Madge finally answers sounding unsure. Is there someone? We never talked about boys but surely I'd know, or would I? I know Madge well enough to know she's a good person, kind and intelligent but I couldn't hazard a guess at her favorite color or anything of the sort. All I know is that she likes strawberries and plays the piano but even Gale knows that

"That's very hard to believe Madge"

"I'm going to let you in on a secret" Madge says, her eyes alight with mischief. Ceaser and the audience lean in and there is silence as everyone, myself included listens intently "I'm waiting for Finnick O'dair to realize he's madly in love with me and come sweep me off my feet" again there is ructions laughter and Ceaser wipes a tear from his eye

"Aren't we all!" Ceaser chuckles. There's a disturbance then the camera pans around to show none other than Finnick O'dair himself climbing down from the victors balcony to the stage. People howl and cheer as he pulls Madge to her feet then dips her into a steamy kiss. Madge fans herself when he stands her up again and puts a hand to her forehead when he kisses her hand lightly before returning to his seat "well, well, what are we to make of that?" Madge doesn't reply for a moment then turns to Ceaser with a grin

"I'm sorry Ceaser you're going to have to repeat that, I didn't catch a word" again the audience bursts into hysterics

"That was quite something, I'm a little hot and bothered myself" Ceaser says tugging on the collar of his shirt

"You're telling me, how's a girl to focus after that?" more laughter

"I'm hardly surprised you're simply ravishing in that gown"

"Oh isn't it wonderful? Cinna is magnificent, a true artist"

"Indeed, where are you Cinna, take a bow" the camera pans to show Cinna waving to the crowd and he humbly takes a bow

"His designs for the opening ceremony were extraordinary"

"That they were" Ceaser agrees

"It's just one of the things I love about the Capitol" Gale raises his eyebrows at me and I scowl at him

"Tell me, besides the cupcakes, what else do you love?" Madge giggles girlishly again

"Well the fashions are marvelous" I laugh this time, one thing I do know is how much Madge hates Capitol fashion "and the buildings are so grand, the food is delicious and of course the people" Madge smiles at the audience "the people are fabulous" Madge is a great actress. The buzzer sounds and the audience 'awwwh's even though it had clearly been put off. Madge had twice the time the other tributes did

"I wish you all the best Madge, I truly hope to see you again"

"As do I Ceaser" as she leaves the stage Madge blows a kiss to the audience then one to Finnick who winks back. When Orion crosses the stage to Ceaser the audience has settled down

"It's nice to meet you Orion" Ceaser says taking his hand

"The pleasure's all mine" Orion says smoothly. Gale and I share a look

"Tell me about yourself"

"Well, there really isn't much to tell. I live in district 12, I have a brother and two wonderful parents" Orion breaks into a grin "I'm devilishly handsome and between you and me Ceaser, I'm not a bad dancer" the capitol laughs along with him and Gale and I both frown in confusion. Madge was one thing, she's been around this her whole life but Orion was brought up in the Seam, it's in his DNA to hate the capitol and everything they represent

"Oh I'm sure you are. Tell me about your family" Orion adjusts himself in the seat then plasters his smile back on

"We're close, my brother isn't much older than me, everyone thinks we're twins"

"Did he come and see you before you left?"

"He did"

"And what did he say?" Orion's eyes glaze over with moisture but he blinks and it's gone

"He thanked me" Ceaser raises an eyebrow "for the fortune I'd bring our District when I win" Ceaser grins, Orion having saved himself

"Which brings us to your score. An 8 is very good"

"In truth Ceaser I was hoping for more"

"Oh?"

"I feel I should have danced for them" again Ceaser is drowned out by laughter

"Can you tell us how you earned that 8?"

"You know that's sensitive information Ceaser"

"Just a clue then? Is there anything we should watch out for in the arena?" Orion laughs heartily then sighs

"You bet your yellow wig there is" Ceaser chuckles good naturedly as the audience writhes with laughter at his expense

"I'll have you know young man, this is all my own" Ceaser jokes slicking his hair back

"My apologies Ceaser, I was merely teasing, I've been thinking about going that color myself, what do you think? Do I have the complexion for it?" Ceaser and the capitol laugh again

"Oh I'd say so, I'd be glad to give you the number for my colorist" the two men laugh like old friends and I can't help but notice how unlike any other interviews 12's have been

"That would be wonderful! Only now that I have you in this light I'm not sure I could pull it off like you can"

"Ah we have another charmer, tell me, do you have a special someone?"

"Sadly, the only woman in my life is my dear mother. A fact I'm grateful for having met all these beautiful capitol women" Gale looks like he's going to throw up but at least we know Madge isn't the only one playing an angle

"And what about your fellow tribute?" Ceaser asks, his meaning about as subtle as Effie Trinkett's outfits "Are you and miss Undersee friends?" Ceaser wags his eyebrows, probably trying to get Orion to tell everyone how much he dislikes Madge or how he can't wait to face her in the arena, he normalcy asks the careers about other tributes to get that sort of reaction, it excites the capitol people

"Honestly?" Orion raises his own eyebrow and smirks "honestly no" Ceaser sits back in his chair and grins triumphantly "we weren't, she was a stuck up brat and I resented her"

"Be careful what you say or you'll have the wrath of Finnick O'dair to deal with" there's a murmur of laughter and Orion chuckles too

"Well I wouldn't want that" Ceaser's about to speak again when Orion cuts him off "but I did say weren't. You see I didn't know Madge then, I judged her before ever even speaking to her"

"And what about now?"

"I can honestly say she's the most spectacular person I know and I'm honored to be here with her" Ceaser sits back in his seat with his eyebrows raised again, this time with his lips pursed and surprise etched onto his features. I can't help but think of their clasped hands at the tribute parade, I can't have been the only one who saw it

"Well spectacular she is, we can agree with that can't we ladies and gentlemen?" The buzzer sounds and Orion chuckles at the capitols very un-subtle timing

"I can't wait to see the new hair" Ceaser jokes once more. Orion leaves the stage with a final wave to the crowd then Ceaser turns to face the nearest camera "well there you have it ladies and gentlemen, your tributes for the 74th annual Hunger Games!"

"What just happened?" Gale murmurs

"I'm not ... entirely sure".


	5. Chapter 5

The arena would've been perfect for me or Gale, thick woods for miles. They're ringed by a river that flows from a waterfall on one side of the cornucopia. It's another reminder it should be me there.

The platforms rise and the screen flashes through each of the tributes. My heart beats in time with the countdown, like my whole world slows and focuses on the monotonous robotic voice '54 53 52 51 ...' . My stomach sinks when Orion's face flits across the screen and then jumps to my throat when I see he's looking at the cornucopia. The screen splits, a high shot of the cornucopia next to a shot of ... Madge, she's taking off her shoes, they're heavy walking boots, perhaps she'll be able to run faster but she'll need them to run through the woods.

It all happens so fast. With perfect accuracy she launches one shoe towards the brutish boy from district 4, three platforms away from her, it hits the side of his head and knocks him from the platform. I, along with the rest of Panem watch with rapt disbelief as he is blown to smithereens. During the confusion Madge throws the second boot towards the evil faced girl from 3, she's quick and deflects the heavy shoe, the cameras show her glare then smirk at Madge, the boot hits the ground at the edge of her platform. The girl is still smirking at Madge when her platform blows.

The remaining tributes gape at the craters where their fellow tributes stood moments ago then they look at Madge with varying emotions, shock, fear, awe, gratitude. Madge Undersee, the quiet mayors daughter just took out the two favorites to win the Hunger Games before they even started. I'm repulsed by myself as I begin to laugh, the surprise causing the most inappropriate laughter to bubble up in me but then Gale joins me, we laugh until the gong rings signaling the end of the count down. I keep my eyes on the birds eye view of the arena, the right side of the screen shows the remaining careers causing havoc ... and death so I stick to the left and with Madge. She stops at the edge of the trees and looks back towards the cornucopia

"What is she doing? Go Undersee!" Gale growls beside me

"Katniss, why isn't she running?" Prim whimpers. I look back at the screen and see that Madge is running, in the wrong direction. She's running towards the cornucopia, right into the bloodbath. It's not until they show Orion trying to over power the boy from 2 I realize what she's doing, she's going back for him. Neither she or Orion has a weapon but the boy from 2 has a club of some kind. That doesn't seem to phase Madge as she simply spears him to the ground leaving Orion gasping for air. The boy from 2 doesn't take more than a few seconds to regain himself and then he's on top of Madge with his hands around her neck, unlike Orion she doesn't try to pull his hands away, instead she punches him in the nose, he's taken by surprise and she's able to get free. She goes straight to Orion and together they take off into the woods with a back pack. I worry for Madge's feet but she doesn't seem to be hindered in any way, in fact she flies through the trees with ease.

The picture changes to follow some of the other tributes, one girl barrels into the river without restrain, the things that could lurk in its depths a lesser threat to her than the bloodbath. They show other tributes taking off in all directions, it's a while before they get back to Madge and Orion. They're shown in glimpses, running, walking, running again, then stopping to rest as the sun reaches its highest point in the sky. They have food rations that will only last till morning, a pair of socks, a coil of wire, iodine and a water bottle. It's not much but it's something and for now they're safe. As safe as they can be in the Hunger Games anyway. Orion halves their dried meat and fruit and hands Madge her portion

"We need water" Orion's voice cracks proving just how dry his throat is

"I know, the meat is salted for preservation I don't think we should eat it"

"You're right, we need more than raisins and apple slices though"

"I can't believe I've been so stupid, water should have been first priority" Madge thumps the ground with her fist

"Madge" Orion says soothingly "safety is first priority, we got out of there" Madge nods "now eat your apples" he scolds teasingly. Madge lays out the contents of their rucksack before them and Orion temples his hands under his chin "any ideas?"

"I know a couple of snares, I've seen a few rabbits today" I look over at Gale and he's looking at me in question

"Did you?" he whispers, I shake my head. I have no idea how Madge knows snares but I'm glad she does. I don't like how exposed they are, no weapons, no cover, no water, hardly any food.

After the bloodbath the careers are made up of both the male and female tributes from 1 and 2 and the girl from 4. Gale scoffs at their careless and heavy footfalls but that's what alerts Madge to their proximity. She and Orion share a whispered debate and quickly decide their best option is to try and get behind them. It's better that they know where the careers are at all times.

"We have a very interesting pair from 12 this year, don't you think Claudius?" Ceaser Flickerman appears in a small square at the corner of the screen

"Yes indeed Ceaser, they certainly had a very interesting reaping and then caused quite a splash in the opening ceremonies and training scores, drew our attention further with their interviews. These two are making for an intriguing games. Never before has a tribute made a kill before the countdown even ended" and then they're showing Madge and her boots again.

The mandatory viewing ends when the killing does and we make our way back to the Hawthornes'. We don't see much of the tributes from 12 for the rest of the day which I take as a good sign. We begin to drift away from the television set but never leave it unoccupied

"They're on, they're on!" Hazelle calls us all back to the TV and quickly ushers Posy and Vick back behind the couch. I wish Prim and Rory would sit with them but they wont.

They're trekking as they had been earlier on in the day, I realize there must be a reason they're showing them again. They must be close to someone, my stomach lurches but then Orion drops to his knees and smiles, he digs his fingers into the dirt and it's soggy, moist like water, they found water. I laugh with relief as they jog to the small stream to fill their bottle with water, adding a few drops of iodine and taking it in turns sipping from the bottle

"We only have the one bottle, do you think we should stay close to the water?" Orion asks

"For now, we'll follow it, if we get to close to the cornucopia we'll turn back?"

"Sure" they eat a small portion of their meat and carry on down the river until the sky begins to darken.


	6. Chapter 6

They replay Madge's 'surprise' over and over, until I'm sure I know every second of it. Ceaser Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith gush over how no tribute in the history of the games has ever 'surprised' the nation so thoroughly, they wonder if she has any more 'surprises' up her sleeve. And she does.

When the girl from 3 and the boy from 4's faces appear in the sky along side five others, Madge apologizes. She kisses three fingers and raises them to the sky. The shot changes to the careers getting ready to hunt the remaining tributes but it's too late, we've already seen Madge's apology. In that moment I don't doubt that Madge will kill again and it will change her but she won't let it rule her, she won't let them win.

They show us a map of the arena and highlight the exact location of each tribute. Madge and Orion are watching the careers from a distance but they decide it's pointless when the careers just return to the cornucopia. Five died in the bloodbath, the boy from 6, the girl from 8, the boy from 9 and both from 11, five is possibly the lowest number of bloodbath kills in history. With the two Madge got with the boots that's seven, that leaves 17.

They make camp near the river and Madge unpacks their rucksack again, she picks at the stitching in the socks and slides them onto her hands as fingerless gloves then takes the coil of wire and unravels it, she spends a few minutes winding and unwinding it around her hands to loosen it and Orion watches in amazement at the speed her hands move. I suddenly remember Madge has been walking all day without shoes, every time they show her I make a point of looking at her feet. I never get a clear view but the few glimpses I do get they look fine, far better than a pair of woolen socks should after trekking through thick foliage for hours. Gale rouses and jerks into a sitting position when he sees Madge is on the screen

"What have I missed?"

"The girl from 9, she got hurt in the bloodbath and lost too much blood"

"How are they?"

"Madge has magic socks" I murmur, frowning at the screen

"What?"

"Oh uh Madge's socks they-"

"They're in the Hunger Games and you're worried about Madge's socks"

"No, well, yes, think about it Gale could you imagine walking through the woods in just a pair of socks, they should be in shreds by now" Gale's brow furrows but then he nods

"You're right, do you think Haymitch knew what she was going to do and gave her special socks?"

"Maybe but only the stylists are aloud in with them, don't they make all of the clothes?" I shrug

"Maybe they're just made of some durable material"

"Then why don't all of the tributes lose the boots, they'd be faster" our conversation is cut off when Madge's head snaps up, her curls bouncing

"Orion. Orion" she shakes his shoulder and whispers urgently, his eyes dart around the immediate vicinity before he's even sitting upright "there's more than one, they're close"

"Careers?" he asks, climbing to his feet and silently collecting their few belongings

"Probably"

"Are you ready for this?" Madge nods and passes a thick pointed branch to Orion then takes out some of the wire left after making snares and wraps it around her hands leaving a length of about a foot between them.

It is the careers and they're heading straight for 12. Madge and Orion press their backs to two trees a few meters apart facing away from the careers, Orion's knuckles turn white as he tightens his grip on the club and Madge closes her eyes and schools her breathing until its too shallow to even hear. The boisterous and careless voices draw nearer and the camera zooms out to show the careers stumbling through the trees less than a hundred meters away.

They pass by at first, their not paying much attention to their surroundings, idiots. I thank the stars for their stupidity but then the grizzly boy from one turns back

"I'll catch up I need to take a leak" he makes his way back through the brush and stops way too close to Madge for this to not end in a cannon. Madge looks across at Orion with determined eyes and he looks back at her in question, she shakes her head

"Suede?" the cameras pan around to show the young girl from two stumbling back the same way "are you here?"

"What d'you want?" Suede snaps irritably over his shoulder

"Oh I think you know" Suede sighs and steps away from the tree he had stopped at to pull up his fly "no need for that" the girl smirks and drags a hand across his back

"Whatever, I'm going"

"No, you're not" the girl purrs taking hold of his arm

"Don't! ... touch me"

"I want to do a bit more than touch you" she giggles. Suede shakes his head and pulls his arm free then leaves the direction he came. The girl huffs and stomps her feet, more like the child she is. I wonder how her parents felt watching that. I think she's about to leave as well but instead she whirls around like a petulant toddler having a tantrum and Orion makes the mistake of moving in an attempt to hide

"Hey!" the girl opens her mouth to scream or call for the other careers, I'm not sure because she's cut off by Madge's elbow in the throat. Before she's even hit the ground Madge has the wire cutting off her air supply, it's an act of mercy when she takes the knife from the girls belt and presses it into her heart, there is no aggression in it, no violence, it's almost tender. Madge winces when the knifes handle is flush with the girls chest and lays her to the ground when her cannon booms. Orion watches Madge in complete horror before throwing up but when she wipes a tear from her eye he pulls her into an embrace

"It's okay" he soothes her, Gale shifts next to me when he kisses her hair

"Don't hate me" Madge whispers

"Shhh, never" Orion whispers back "c'mon, we should go, they'll work out the cannon was hers and head back this way" Madge nods and when she lifts her head there's no sign of tears or remorse, just determination.

"Well, well ladies and gentlemen, there you have it, 9 fallen tributes, that leaves 15 as we begin day two of the 73th annual hunger gam-" the TV cuts off before Ceaser Flickerman can finish his sentence and I feel an overwhelming sense of relief and terror. They made it through day one. Madge killed. Madge ... killed.

"I know what you're thinking Catnip. She had to do it" Gale murmurs

"I know"

"Get some sleep"

"Yeah rite" Gale lets out a burst of laughter

"Yeah I don't feel like I could either".


	7. Chapter 7

School is where it's worst, the empty seat opposite me at lunch is like a swift kick to the gut. Being paired with Leevy for my history of Panem assignment is like having my intestines torn out and catching glimpses of the games between classes is excruciating.

On the walk home Gale comes to a sudden stop and I turn to face the huge screen in the square, it's on which means a fight is looming and a crowd has gathered to watch the careers surround the boy from 7. He puts up a good fight, jamming a dagger in 4's leg and winding the boy from 2. He lands a few punches and scrambles through the brush a couple hundred meters but inevitably they catch him and finish him with a sword, I'm not even sure which one of them it was. I'm ready to carry on home when the stocky boy from 1 shouts that he can see 12. The careers were pissed when Madge had a better score than all of them and have been trying to work out how she did it since. They figured it must have been her and Orion who killed one of their own and although it wasn't much of a loss, they've held a grudge.

The cannon had already caught Madge's attention, she and Orion seem to be very aware of their surroundings and have managed to avoid any other tributes. Madge has always been vigilant and so far it's kept them relatively safe but the gamemakers will start forcing the tributes together soon.

Orion spots the careers coming towards them in plenty of time and he and Madge cross the river, disappearing into the trees the other side. By the time the careers have crossed after them 12 are hidden in the trees far above their heads. Unfortunately Suede can track and works out exactly where Orion's heavy treads lead. The careers are gathered around the base of the tree deciding who should go up after him when in a move so unexplainable, Madge drops from her hiding place in a nearby tree.

Hearing the light thump and the scuffle of leaves as she lands the remaining careers wheel around and face her. I can't breathe, no one can, the square has fallen silent

"Look who it is" the boy from 2 smirks

"Aren't you going to run 12?" the girl from 1 asks with a furrowed brow. My point exactly! Why aren't you running Madge?! She doesn't move, she keeps a strong stance and rocks slightly on her feet "something's wrong" the girl mutters "she got an 11 for a reason"

"She did" the girl from 4 agrees "let's find out what it is shall we?" she says spinning a large knife around on her palm. Prim buries her face in my back and whispers my name through tears, I choke an incoherent reply but don't look away from the screen as the girl from 4 throws her knife. It's like the boots all over again, I don't believe my eyes as Madge deflects the knife with a flick of her wrist "neat trick" I get the feeling we haven't seen anything yet.

It's like she's not even touching them! They run at her one after the other and time and again she deflects their hits and sends them careening off in the direction they came at her. When the boy from 1 swings at her she catches his fist and ducks under his arm so he's pinned. His wrist at an angle precariously close to snapping. She knocks the back of his knee with her foot and he falls to the ground with a grunt, the boy from 2 dives at her and I wince as they fall, all the brute's weight crushing Madge to the stony forest floor. He tries to pin Madge beneath him but she's out from beneath him and on her feet before he's fully aware of himself. By the time he's upright Madge is ready, she thrusts her palm towards him and the heel of her hand makes impact with the top of his cranium, he falls unconscious to the floor at the same time Madge swings her leg back and knocks the girl from 4 out with a kick to the temple.

The girl from 1, who had held back until know tightens the grip she has on her sword and they stare each other down. The boy from 1 clambers to his feet and Madge grips a point between his neck and shoulder, his legs buckle beneath him and he falls face down in the mud again. The girl from 1 watches her district partner fall in a heap then grits her teeth and runs at Madge sword raised. As the sword slices through the air Madge jabs both her palms into the girls chest, throwing her back a few feet. When she returns it is faster and more aggressive and Madge jabs two fingers into her sternum, breast bone and finally a palm to the center of her ribcage which incapacitates the girl and leaves everyone else baffled

"What the hell was that?" Gale whispers harshly "she just poked her"

"It's called Kun Foo" a man rasps behind me and I turn to find Darius, he's barely recognizable without his peacekeeper uniform and all his unruly red hair disguised under a thick woolen hat

"What?" Gale asks, confusion plain in his tone

"Kun Foo" Darius whispers "an ancient fighting style from much before the Dark Days"

"Kun Foo?" I question

"No, no, Kung Fu, with a 'U', that's what Madge just did" he says pointing to the screen where Madge is calling Orion down from his perch

"Are they dead?" Gale wonders curiously

"The girl from 1 could be, it depends how precise Madge was and how hard she hit her. The others are just unconscious"

"How do you know all that?" I ask, Darius shrugs "How does Madge know how to do that?" he shrugs again but amusement tugs at his lips "so she could be dead? The girl from 1? Just from being poked?" Darius grins

"She didn't just poke her sweet cheeks. She targeted their pressure points, used their nervous systems to incapacitate them" Darius explains as if I'm stupid. I'd be insulted if I wasn't so confused

"But all she did was poke her" Gale murmurs again, Darius shakes his head as if amused by an errant child

"Will she kill them now?" I ask. She should really, she should take her chance now, it would be clean and easy and smart

"How should I know?" Darius smirks "I've never even spoken to her" he grins before taking one last look at the screen and strutting off through the crowd. I'm left with more questions than I could ever hope to answer. The last being; why would Darius lie?


	8. Chapter 8

She doesn't kill them. We stay to see Madge and Orion make it safely into the thick foliage and out of sight and wait a few minutes for the careers to rouse. The girl from 1 never wakes up, her canon booms not long after we leave and I can hear it half way to the seam. My mother is busy with a patient when we get home. A man injured in the mines this morning, there's still a lot of blood and I'm back out the door before my boots are on properly.

The hob is quiet, it's that time of day where there's a lull in trades before the miners get off work and everyone is charging way more than they should. Everyone except Greasy Sae that is and that's where I go, she fills a bowl with her famously mysterious stew and I perch on the edge of her counter to eat it. I scoop up a spoonful of what be must be some sort of root and marvel at how satisfying it is. I worked out a long time ago it's better to not ask and just chew when it comes to Sae's stew and it tastes so good it's easy enough to ignore whatever it is she's passing off as meat.

"Your friend, the mayors girl. She's doing well" Sae says stirring something new into her pot

"I didn't know she could do all those things, I thought- I was sure I'd never see her again"

"And now?"

"You saw what she did Sae. I've never seen any tribute do anything like that before, have you?"

"No I can say for certain, I've never seen anything quite like that before"

"I just don't understand how no one knew. I mean, we weren't real close or anything but I never could have even guessed-"

"I'm not sure no one knew" Sae says cryptically her eyes fixed over my shoulder "that devilish little copper top has been grinning at that screen all day" I follow her gaze without really needing to, there's a handful of people in 12 with red hair and only one of them frequents the hob, Darius

"You think he knows something?"

"Oh he knows something alright"

"Thanks Sae" I deposit the empty bowl on her counter and lift my game bag back on to my shoulder

"Hey!" Sae calls after me "you be careful girl" she says with serious eyes "he might be alright but he's still a peacekeeper" she warns, reading my mind.

I follow Darius around the hob for almost an hour and then when he leaves I grab the back of his jacket and yank him into a shaded alcove at the side of the building

"What the!- Katniss?" Darius asks, dusting off his pants "If you'd wanted to get me on my own all you had to do was ask" he smirks

"What do you know?" I demand

"Lots of things" he grins

"About Madge"

"Mayors daughter right? Pretty girl"

"Don't give me that Darius, I know you know her" his lips twitch slightly and I scowl at him

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about" he chuckles

"You know something, you knew about that Kung Fooey thing and you're lying about not knowing her"

"We're friends and she can hold her own in a fight" Darius shrugs "so what?"

"So WHAT?!" I hiss "she's in the games! In the place of my sister!"

"I know that"

"Then tell me what's going on!" Darius sighs heavily

"If you were anyone else I wouldn't even still be standing here" he says seriously "I don't think you're going to like what you find if you keep chasing this"

"I want to know"

"I was scared you'd say that. Bring Gale, meet me here this time tomorrow" he gets a few feet away before he turns back "and Katniss? She's coming home".

My mind is reeling as I wander back through town, my mind feels both numb and overwhelmed and it is a completely unwelcome sensation. There's so much grey in this district there's never been any room for it in my mind. I've always seen everything in black and white. I'll hunt and trade to put food on the table until I finish school then I'll go into the mines and save every penny to ensure Prim never has to. That was it, there was never anything else, it was all clear. But with the calling of a name everything has blurred to a murky shade of grey.

In my daze I let my feet carry me, I traipse through the district completely unaware of everything around me. So much so, I end up colliding with a solid wall, though I swear I was nowhere near any buildings

"My goodness, Katniss I'm so sorry" Mr. Mellark looms over me, a look of horror on his face as he bends to help me up

"No worries, I wasn't looking where I was going" Mr. Mellark is probably the only person in town who's hand I'd take when offered, so when he holds it out I grasp it and let him pull me to my feet

"Oh Katniss, I'm so sorry" Mr. Mellark gasps cradling my hand, I look down to find the heel of my hand is shredded and dirty. Mr. Mellark lifts my other hand and I see it's in even worse shape, out in the chilled air they're starting to sting "come with me" he says shifting his parcels under one arm and putting the other around me. It's entirely unnecessary and making me uncomfortable but he's warm and I'm flustered so I cooperate "I'm sure I have some salve or something for this in the bakery"

"Oh no, that's okay"

"Katniss please, it's all my fault"

"No really it's alright, I walked into you. I'll just go home and wash them off"

"Katniss they may get infected and I can't have that. Just, come inside please" I just don't have it in me to argue with him so I let him lead me across the street to the bakery. From the front of the shop he leads me back through the kitchen and past the back door to a small washroom "the pipes are a little iffy so we'll have to wait a minute for clean water" Mr. Mellark explains, twisting a tap. The tap sputters for a moment before a steady stream flows, instead of holding my hands under the stream Mr. Mellark fills a kettle from the kitchen and puts it to boil "why don't you take a seat" he says, gesturing to one of the stools around the work station in the kitchen. I do as he says and watch as he goes about filling a bowl with warm water and collecting a clean cloth

"Mr. Mellark really-"

"I insist" he cuts me off and lifts the warmed cloth to my right hand. When he dabs at the scrapes I wince, some of them are pretty deep "gosh Katniss, I'm so sorry"

"It's nothing and it was my own fault" Mr. Mellark opens his mouth to apologize again I expect but he's interrupted by Rye and Peeta Mellark as they come in through the store front

"What's all this?" Rye asks

"I knocked Katniss over" Mr. Mellark tells them

"It was my fault" I repeat

"I'm just tending her wounds" Mr. Mellark adds as if I'm dying from blood loss

"Oh, well we're back from deliveries and we have some new orders" Rye replies and jerks his head towards the storefront with a smirk

"Oh!" Mr. Mellark's brows lift as if he's understood some hidden meaning "Peeta why don't you help Katniss while I sort these new orders. Peeta's eyes widen considerably the same way mine do as Mr. Mellark crosses the room

"That's really not necessary" I tell them worriedly

"Nonsense" Mr. Mellark grins "Peeta?"

"O-okay" the youngest Mellark stutters and sheds his coat.

"You really don't have to" I tell Peeta when his father and brother have left the room

"It's no problem Katniss" he assures me and wrings out the cloth his father had been using. His large hands are surprisingly gentle as they tend to mine. I almost smile at the concentration that morphs his features as he works, it's bordering comical, the care he takes with the tiniest task. It takes longer than it should but eventually my hands are clean of grime and blood and there's a strange tension in the now stifling room

"Thank you" I murmur and make to stand

"Hang on" Peeta says, holding out his hands to stop me. He crosses to the ovens opposite us and pulls a small box off a shelf above them "this is the Mellark bakery necessity box" he tells me, taking out a tube of something "this is antiseptic cream, the first thing on every order for the supply train" he squeezes a small blob onto his forefinger and gives me a questioning glance. I nod and he softly rubs the soothing cream in to the cuts on my hands "it's a must have around here, lots of ovens, lots of burns" I return the small smile he gives me as best I can out of gratitude but truthfully I'm distracted by whatever it is happening to me. I feel awkward, more so than usual but also comfortable and expectant, of what, I don't know "there we go, all better" Peeta chirps

"Thank you" I say sincerely, still baffled by my willingness to accept help from this family "could you thank your dad for me too. Tell him I'll bring extra squirrel"

"Katniss" Peeta smiles and shakes his head "there's really no need"

"I want to, you used you're emergency burn cream, it must be expensive -"

"Katniss-"

"No, from what you said, it's in high demand around here so ... I want to"

"Okay"

"Okay" I agree, moving towards the back door "thank you"

"Anytime".


	9. Chapter 9

Madge decides they need to establish some sort of plan and wants to try and find a way to the top of the waterfall to get a better view of the arena. I recognise this side of Madge, the side that collects all the information she can then processes it, making something entirely too complex comprehensible.

They walk ... and walk, for hours. They're only shown once or twice when a tribute gets close but they never cross paths. My relief at that fact is marred by my dread that the capitol are bored and the game makers will be forced to create something for them to watch. They do. But not at all in the way I expected. Instead of forcing tributes together they put some sort of predator into the arena. Ceaser Flickerman calls it a mountain lion but I've seen a mountain lion and that is not what this is. It may have started that way, a lean feline a little bigger than me but that was before the capitol got it's hands on it. They've turned a once graceful predator into a beast, given it curved talons in the place of claws, a whip like tail too long and sharp for that of a real mountain lion, they've doubled it's body mass and replaced it's natural thick hide with tough spiked leathery armour over it's back, shoulders and head that almost resembles scales.

I've only ever seen a mountain lion in daylight but I imagine at night their eyes are much like Buttercup's, reflective and bright. This creatures however are smaller, narrower and entirely black. It slinks between the trees flicking out a forked tongue and twitching it's head side to side.

"Sick" Gale spits "look what they've done to it. A beautiful creature mutated to look like that"

As night falls in the arena, the clock in the town square tolls noon and I stop to watch the beastly thing stalk the pair from 10. They never even see it coming, the beast uses it's front legs like a man would arms and rips the boy clean in two. The girl, overcome with hysterics doesn't even try to run or fight back instead she falls to the floor beside the mangled torso and head of her district partner and wails as the beast mauls her legs. It's torturing her, a normal, natural, untainted mountain lion goes for the kill. A neck wound to bring down it's pray as quickly as possible, mercifully. Anyone who has stopped to watch stares in disgust yet find themselves unable to look away as her blood and flesh cover the forest floor. When her legs are no longer recognisable as body parts I'm sure she'll bleed out and die but she doesn't. Her cries become whimpers and gurgled moans as the beast claws at her and tears pieces away. When the cannon finally fires the beast jaws fall slack and disregard whatever it was holding, her shoulder maybe and it wanders off leaving a gruesome puddle of crimson blood and body parts scattered like debris. The game makers have outdone themselves.

After minutes of watching a hovercraft make multiple trips to collect the two fallen tributes I'm watching the screen intently with tears brimming in my eyes. That was abhorrent, the games always are but that was the cruelest, most inhumane thing I've ever witnessed or heard of them doing. I think of their families, in District 10 having to watch that, suffer their children's pain with them as they watched them tortured and dismembered.

I've never been this angry. Not when dad died, not when I had to sign for tessera, not when my mother become dormant, not even when they called Prim's name. If I could I'd set the capitol aflame and watch it burn. I'm distracted when Madge's gold curls appear before me. If they're showing 12 it's for a reason, I pray it's a fellow tribute closing on them and not the monstrosity the capitol created.

"The arena didn't seem this big. How long have we been walking? Are we even going the right way?" Orion asks as he treks beside Madge up a steep incline

"It's hard to tell without the sun" Madge tells him looking up briefly "not that it was accurate" she adds with exasperation "As for direction, I don't know. The ground isn't as dry as it was back there so I'd say this way" Madge says pointing straight ahead

"Can't you use the stars or something?" Orion grumbles half heartedly

"I could" Madge sighs "if they were the stars, it's just a projection" she clarifies

"How do you know?" Madge looks up again then drops down beside Orion where he's slumped over his backpack

"You see that big one? Kind of off to the left on its own?" she points upwards at something we can't see and I beg for them to get up, check their surroundings, keep moving, anything!

"Yeah" Orion answers breathlessly

"That's the big dipper, you see the little dipper is just below it"

"Oh yeah"

"Well they're the only accurate ones as far as I can tell, there's no north star, no Orion's belt, no-"

"My what?" Orion cuts her off, Madge laughs

"Orion's belt, it's three stars in sort of a straight line" she tells him

"There are stars named after me?" Orion chortles sleepily and lays back with his head on his backpack

"I'd say it's more you were named after them but yes. It's my favourite constellation, Orion the Hunter" Madge says dreamily, craning her head back to look at the sky

"How come?" Orion yawns, Madge smiles to herself

"Always did have a thing for hunters" her smile becomes wistful and she turns to a half conscious Orion "get some sleep, I'll wake you at dawn"

"Kay" he murmurs, already succumbing to exhaustion. I look across at Gale worriedly, why are they showing Madge and Orion? They must be in danger. Only when my eyes leave the screen do I notice the small crowds around us are all looking in our direction, at me and our families but Gale in particular

"What's going on?" I whisper but Gale doesn't answer. I look up and find him still watching Madge watch the stars. Hazelle catches my eye and I furrow my brow in question

"As far as I know you and Gale are the only hunters in 12" she says mystically with a sad tone

"We are" I frown at her seemingly random comment. Then get over my anger and anxiety enough to think about what Madge said 'Orion the Hunter. Always did have a thing for hunters'. I don't understand it, I don't know what it means or why everyone looked at us. It's no secret that Gale and I hunt illegally but no one would ever report us, especially not Madge so why would people point it out now? My train of thought is brought to a terrifying stop when something startles Madge, she springs to her feet and turns to face the source. In the darkness she is blind and for some reason so are we. The capitol has cameras that allow us to see what's happening in the dark, night vision or something, but they aren't using it. All we can see is a hint of Madge's fair hair as she searches the darkness and how she stops breathing when it emits a low growl.


	10. Chapter 10

I can't bring myself to watch. I hear the gasp of the crowd and Madge's grunt as she hits the ground, I hear snarls and I hear Orion waking. I hear Orion cry out and people around me gasp and whimper. I hear Madge scream his name and the beast roar. Prim who's head is buried in my chest the same way mine is in her hair, begins to sob. Madge calls Orion's name again and beside me Gale let's out a breath of air that seems almost relieved

"Good girl" Hazelle whispers and I look up. My heart stops. Madge is straddling the beast, easily three times her size with the sword they took from their fight with the careers buried deep into its back. She gasps for breath and gingerly takes her hands from the sword, they're shaking uncontrollably and she falls to the side exhausted. The body of the beast falls with her and reveals Orion on the ground covered in gauges and bloody scrapes. Gasping for breath but alive. Alive!

"She saved him" I whisper, I didn't have to see it to know that. At my words Prim lifts her head and searches the screen

"She did?" she whimpers

"She did" Gale croaks.

Orion scrambles to Madge's side on all fours and takes her face in his hands

"Madge" he begs "Madge" he pleads desperately "Madge, wake up!" he yells "Madge, wake up, right now!" a single tear rolls down his cheek as he looks over her for signs of injury "Madge, I mean it! Wake up!" he yells again and Madge bolts upright "Madge!" he gasps and crushes her into his chest, her eyes dart around before she squeezes back and gulps in lungfuls of air "are you alright? Are you hurt?"

"I'm-m f-fine" she breathes "are y-you okay-ay?"

"Fine, I'm fine. Thank you"

"What th-the h-h-hell is-s th-that th-th-thing?" Madge stutters through tears

"It's okay, it's okay" Orion soothes but Madge continues to shake and sob uncontrollably, losing her composure for the first time in her life. Prim looks up at me, tears of her own wetting her cheeks

"Katniss what's wrong with her?" if it was anyone else, I'd simply answer 'she's in the games' but it's not, it's Madge and she never loses control like this

"It's the mutt" I'm startled by my mothers voice, I often forget her presence and hearing her speak so strongly is unsettling "her aunt was killed by a mutt in the second quarter quell" that's right, Maysilee. I've heard people speak of Maysilee, often in relation to Haymitch Abbernathy's drinking

"Poor Madge" Prim sobs.

They don't show anymore of Madge's breakdown and the mandatory viewing ends with the career boy Suede - District 1 have such stupid names - killing the boy from 5 with his bare hands.

"Are you sure about this?" Gale asks worriedly. We're awaiting Darius in the alcove where I accosted him yesterday and as nervous as I am, I'm desperate for information

"No but it's a risk I'm willing to take" I tell him truthfully.

Darius jogs over to us casually, he's in regular clothes and the same woollen hat hides his hair

"What're you two doing skulking around in the shadows?" he chuckles

"No jokes Darius, just tell us what you know" I demand

"Fair enough, not here though" he says in a much more serious manner. We follow him in apprehensive silence to a derelict building between Rooba the butcher's and the Hob "quietly" Darius warns as he steps through the unlocked door. He walks to the centre of the empty room, the floorboards squeaking slightly beneath his feet and creaking as he shifts his weight. He turns on the spot and grins holding his arms out at his sides

"Welcome to D12 Rebellion HQ".

Gale and I share a look of dread, that is not a freely spoken word. It's treasonous, merely uttering the word can land you in a grave and here, Darius - a peacekeeper - says it with an amused smile on his lips

"Don't look so worried, there's nothing to be scared of" Gale and I remain silent, part of me wants to barrel from the room and as far away from it as possible but it's not a big enough part

"You're a peacekeeper" Gale states simply

"Not right now" Darius answers easily

"Uniform or not" Gale snaps

"Lighten up would you, you're not even this surly with me when I'm on duty"

"You don't talk about rebellion on duty"

"Gale!" I warn through gritted teeth

"Look, you're the ones who wanted to know what was going on. I'm just trying to tell you"

"Then tell us!" Gale gripes

"I think it goes without saying anything I say in this room doesn't leave"

"Talk!" Gale growls

"The districts aren't happy. You think it's bad here? This is nothing. Compared to 11 and 8, we're living the high life. I'm talking daily floggings, bad tessera grain, curfews and that's just to start"

"How come it's not like that here?"

"12's small, we're not a threat, easily ignored. The mayor can cover it up easily because he's not under as close a scrutiny"

"The mayor?"

"He does what he can. You think you've got it bad but it would be a hell of a lot worse if it weren't for him. Who do you think turns the fences off for you?"

"What has this got to do with Madge and the games?" I ask, still unsettled, I don't feel safe

"Everything" Darius replies without hesitation "this has been years in the making and you wouldn't believe half of it if I told you"

"So what about the games?" Gale pushes

"We figured the best way to make a stand was to hit them where it hurts. And what's more important to the capitol than the games?" Gale and I share another look and Darius continues, his voice rising and becoming more aggressive with every word "The plan was to put someone in the games, someone who would win, be the perfect victor and have the position and opportunity to change things"

"How?"

"Anyone who watches television knows Finnick O'dair is the most televised person in Panem, he has fans and therefore influence"

"So Finnick O'dair is supposed to change things?" I wonder

"No, I told you this is deep, goes back years. Finnick O'dair is just the beginning, he wasn't even approached until two years after he won"

"Get to the point Darius"

"We trained someone to go in to the quarter quell and reek havoc. There was this whole plan to blow up the arena and rescue the tributes but then your sisters name was called"

"What does this have to do with Prim?" I ask, terrified of what his answer might be

"Madge volunteered"

"So?" Gale questions, Darius scowls at his nonchalant tone and disregard for Madge's sacrifice

"It was too early" Darius snaps "she was supposed to volunteer for the quell when she was 18"

"What?" I gasp, Gale chokes on his tongue like he wants to cry and Darius rubs his hands over his face

"She's been training for the games since she was a toddler but she's too damn good a person to have let Prim go"

"Madge wanted to go into the games?" I ask, Darius nods, Gale remains stoic, I'm not even sure he's breathing

"She should have had a couple more years but she was ready, she knew what she was doing"

"But you said there was a plan?" Gale reminds him having finally come back to life

"There was but it's had to change"

"How?"

"There's no longer a rescue mission" Darius states coldly

"And her parents knew about this?!" Gale asks in disbelief

"Of course they weren't happy about it. Her mother was still relatively healthy before Madge started learning how to kill"

"Her father?" I wonder

"Thought he had two years to talk her out of it" Darius says solemnly

"I don't believe this" Gale murmurs, running his hands through his hair and pacing

"You want proof" Darius crosses the room to a rotting door in the corner and we follow him through to a bigger room stacked floor to ceiling, wall to wall with boxes and files "this" Darius gestures to two of the four walls of neatly stacked files "was all Madge" Gale wanders over to a box labelled 'Supply Train' and opens it. He takes a stack of papers from inside and scans it quickly, his features changing to a look of disgusted disbelief

"Is this true?" he asks Darius, pointing to the papers "they withhold supplies on purpose?" Darius nods and Gale moves onto a box labelled 'Tessera' and scans over the papers inside "no" he whispers "they can't" he sounds completely distraught "they're going to lower the age, children as young as 8 having extra slips in the bowl by their first reaping?!" Darius nods sadly "Vick's 8" he drops the papers back in the box and tugs on his hair, his pacing comes to a sudden stop when he sees a larger box near the top. When I see it's label I move beside him and watch as he opens it. It's labelled 'Mine Collapses' and it's contents make me feel sick. The files are tagged either 'Accidental' or 'Intentional', 90 percent of them are tagged with the latter and I have to sit down. Gale tears through the files until he comes to the one I know he's looking for "it was planned" he chokes "they did it on purpose, my dad, your dad" he drops the file and punches the wall beside him before collapsing to the floor with his head in his hands.

I can't breathe, it's like my anger has formed a vice around my lungs and they're being crushed. I never stopped grieving and I doubt I ever will but now I feel the way I did when that siren went off. They did it on purpose. They murdered my dad on purpose. He was never meant to die, he's meant to be here. Gale and I stay in our crouched positions for a while, I'm rocking slightly when he reaches for the file and begins to read

"They targeted the section our dads were in" he murmurs "reasons?" Gale asks Darius

"Madge" he says simply "some of them are theories but that particular one was in retaliation. I think you should read it" I hear the words but I don't let them sink in, not really

"It is my belief" Gale reads "that the explosion and resulting collapse were caused by a strategically placed and controlled trigger explosive, targeting Harris Birch, Archer Everdeen, Lucifer Granger, Hunter Hawthorne, Thomas Redmore and Frank Watson for their involvement in strikes and rumoured uprisings. Everdeen, Hawthorne and Redmore were known to the D12 rebels as trusted sources and reliable accomplices" there it is again, that word, rebel. This time in relation to my father.


	11. Chapter 11

I'm too overwhelmed to focus on anything. My mind races with thoughts of mine collapses and rebellions and the fact that my father was up to his neck involved with all of it. I always knew my dad hated how people in the Seam lived but we weren't doing as bad as others, with dad's hunting and trading we did alright, better than most in the Seam. I could never have imagined he was part of a rebellion, I wonder if my mother knew? If he would've told me had I been older? Or would he have kept us in the dark for our own safety? Would he still be alive if he hadn't been involved? The chaos in my mind drives me the other side of the fence in search of calm and serenity.

The woods don't bring the relief they usually do. I miss every shot and trip over roots that aren't even in my path. There's just too much to process and Darius says we've barely scratched the surface, truthfully until I can stop worrying about Madge I'm not sure how much more I can handle. I've been sitting on a fallen tree letting my thoughts whirlwind around in my head for a long time, having given up on the idea of actually shooting something in this state. It takes me longer than it should to hear Gale approaching, I'm just too distracted by everything and consumed by thoughts of fire and gunshots and men screaming. So when he calls out to me I startle and almost fall from my perch

"I read every sheet in that file then read files on our dads" he tells me "they were pretty involved Catnip" I don't even frown at the nickname, I just don't have the energy for it "and Madge" he shakes his head and his solemn tone gains an air of awe and respect "she's done so much. She's done so much good and never asked anything in return"

"I already owe her so much Gale"

"I think I know what my ma meant about her taking care of my family" he says sadly and I turn to face him "after dad died she brought us food, she's been slipping things to the kids ever since and she sent all but one of my ma's customers. Not to mention what she did for Rory"

"I don't understand how we couldn't have known"

"She been doing this for years. Do you know she was only 9 the first time she thwarted a plan to collapse a section of the mines, there's been countless times since"

"This is too much. We shouldn't be getting involved in this Gale"

"Are you serious?!" he yells "this is exactly what we should be doing"

"It's a death wish"

"It's what we've been waiting for"

"It's what you've been waiting for!" I correct him

"I can't believe you're going to just ignore this"

"I won't do anything to endanger Prim"

"You're kidding me, you should be doing this for Prim! They were about to take her Katniss". Gale leaves after a few minutes of silence though I can tell he wants to talk. I'm ready to follow him when I remember my promise to bring the Mellark's squirrel and turn back. My aim has been off all morning but I pull myself together enough to bag three squirrels and a few handfuls of blackberries to sweeten the deal.

"Katniss! Back so soon" Mr. Mellark grins, standing in the bakery's back door, wiping his hand in his equally dirty apron "how're your hands?"

"All better, thank you. I have your squirrel" I tell him showing my full bag

"Boy you really are spoiling me" he chortles "how many today?"

"Three and some blackberries"

"Perfect! Come in while I get your payment"

"Oh no Mr. Mellark these or for all your help the other day"

"Nonsense that's hardly a fair trade"

"Sir, I can't pay you back for the antiseptic medicine, my sister says it's expensive but this is all I can offer"

"Sir? Please Katniss I don't look that old do I?"

"No" I smile at as he gestures to himself

"Then no more 'Sir' and let me get you something"

"Mr. Mellark I can't" he sighs

"How about I take a squirrel off your hands and pay you for the rest?"

"Two squirrel and the berries" I counter

"The berries and one squirrel"

"Okay" I concede and Mr. Mellark grins widely

"Great, come on in" I hesitantly follow the baker into his kitchen where his two younger sons are cleaning the ovens

"Hello again Everdeen" Rye Mellark calls over his shoulder, I tip my head in return

"Hi Katniss" Peeta warbles

"Peeta" I half smile

"How're your hands?"

"Much better, thanks" he smiles warmly

"Good"

"Here we are Katniss" says handing me two wrapped parcels, two whole loaves. I open my mouth to refuse but he holds up his free hand "please"

"Wait dad" Peeta stands and wipes off his hands before crossing over to the cooling racks behind me and packing something into a box "here, take these instead" I flip back the lid of the box and my mouth immediately begins to water, cheese buns, my absolute favourite thing to eat

"Cheese buns" I exclaim "I can't take these"

"Of course you can" Peeta and his father assure me, I can't help but match the smirk Peeta's older brother is wearing

"Typical" he smiles and rolls his eyes

"You once told me they were your favourite" Peeta says, it's true but I've only interacted with Peeta a few times in my life. I can't recall ever telling him that and I've only had cheese buns twice, both times when my dad was still alive. My father the rebel "it was years ago" Peeta continues "we were just kids, maybe 7 or 8 and you come in with your dad" he says carefully. I recall that day, I'd only had the treat once before and I hadn't known when we come into town that we'd be coming to the bakery. So when my dad tugged me in to the delicious warmth by our clasped hands I'd taken in deep breaths to savour the smell. He'd asked me what I wanted and told me I could pick two of anything, one for myself and one for Prim. He and Mr. Mellark had suggested every flavour cookie and pastry there was but I knew what I wanted. When I'd asked for cheese buns both men had chuckled at my choice but I wasn't going to change it. I remember a curly yellow haired boy bringing them to the counter. A boy I know recognise to be Peeta, he was like a ray of sunshine and cherub like with his dimples, round cheeks and puppy fat. He had held out the box to me and proudly proclaimed that he'd helped his dad measure the ingredients for them just that morning. I'd taken the box eagerly, explaining they were my favourite and congratulated him just as cheerfully

"I remember" I tell him, unable to stop the corners of my lips from turning up "I can't believe you do" his face suddenly gets serious, his eyes convey honesty and sincerity and his voice lowers to a deep resounding volume

"I remember everything about you Katniss".


	12. Chapter 12

When they let us see Madge and Orion again they've made camp a few hundred metres from the drop of the waterfall. Orion's wounds have been tended to and they've been able to start a fire to cook more rabbit meet, Madge is back to her usual self, her breakdown after killing the mutt all but forgotten. I'm just grateful they're still alive.

The beast seems to have placated the capitol for now so the gamemakers allow the tributes a relatively peaceful day, with only 10 tributes left they're showing more of the tributes while Ceaser Flickerman gives trivial and unsubstantial information on them. Eventually he brings up Madge's abilities, he doesn't mention how districts 1 and 2 have been training tributes for years and says that her beauty has caused quite a stir in the capitol, that's something Darius had been seriously worried about but he didn't say why. The mandatory viewing ends after the girl from 7 gets desperate and eats some poisonous berries. We see it coming, nightlock was one of the first things my dad made sure to warn me of when he started taking me to the woods and in a way I'm happy, if she had to die I'm glad it was quickly and painlessly.

The walk home is silent, even Posy understands that words aren't needed right now. I turn on the television before even taking off my boots when we reach the house and sink to the floor in front of our worn couch. Hazelle walks home with Vick and Posy but encourages Gale and Rory to stay, I think she does it for Prim and I's benefit and for the first time in years I think I may actually need company. Mainly to keep me from getting lost in my thoughts but also because being alone is becoming a more and more terrifying concept to me.

It doesn't take long for them to show 12 and as usual that makes my heart beat faster and my airway tighten. They've dampened their fire and lay back to back a few feet apart facing opposite directions. They're both awake but they don't speak. I'm worried about what they aren't showing us when a quiet ding anyone would recognise sounds and begins to get louder as the parachute floats down and lands right before Madge's eyes.

"What is it Goldilocks?" Orion asks, he's taken to calling her that and no one's entirely sure why but Hazelle said it's something from and old fairytale. Madge hands him the package without even looking at it and instead goes straight for the small card at the bottom of the canister. She reads it quickly and covers it before any of the cameras can get a good enough look. She turns to Orion and shows him the card while he uncovers a pair of polished black dice. Madge takes them from him grinning while he reads the note

"You never cease to amaze me partner" at first I think she's talking to Orion but she's not looking at him and she's still smiling at the dice. Orion reads over the slip of paper again then looks across at Madge

"In your interview, you said there wasn't anyone. That wasn't true was it?"

"Anyone what?" Madge asks rolling the dice around in her hand

"C'mon Goldilocks, you know what I mean" Orion nudges her with his elbow and Madge sighs

"It hardly matters now does it"

"I'd say so, why shouldn't we be aloud to behave like teenagers for a while? C'mon Madge tell me! Who is it? Do I know him? C'mon lets be giggly girls and tell each other secrets" Madge sighs once more then takes a look at Orion and laughs

"Fine, you first"

"Okay, but only because I'm such a nice person"

"I don't know where to start" Madge shrugs "I guess uh, how old were you when you had your first kiss?" Orion chortles, deep dimples forming in his cheeks

"13, it was awful! I missed her mouth, dribbled, probably traumatised her. But I can assure you, I'm much better at it now"

"I'm sure you are" Madge chuckles

"You?"

"Hm?" Madge feigns obliviousness

"First kiss?" Orion prompts

"14, my best friends brother, he felt sorry for me" Who is Madge's best friend? And why am I hurt that it's not me?

"Awkward?"

"No, not really, we're still good friends"

"Oh?" Orion says in intrigued surprise

"Where was it?"

"Slag heap" Orion snorts "where else" the two laugh "yours?"

"I can't tell you without giving away who it was" Madge grins

"Okay then, how many?" Madge lifts her head and laughs at Orion

"You're such a little girl, I guess, two ... three if you count Finnick O'dair"

"You guess?"

"Okay three" Madge laughs "you?"

"A lot more than three"

"So you've lost count?" she chuckles again and shoves his arm

"More like I never kept track"

"Same thing"

"Not necessarily" Orion grins "Ever had a boyfriend?" Madge scoffs

"No!"

"Why not?"

"No one was ever interested"

"Oh that can't be true, what about the guys you kissed?"

"Like I said, one was a pity kiss, the other was an accident"

"There's always Finnick O'dair" Orion says seriously then breaks into a huge grin and they both laugh "you really never had a boyfriend?"

"I told you, no one was ever interested. I mean, you know what everyone thinks of me, you hated me"

"Goldy I-"

"It's okay Orion" Madge cuts him off "I understand"

"Well I assure you, once they see you for what you really are, they'll be queueing down the street"

"Sure" Madge chuckles

"I'm serious Madge, you're a really amazing person and it's definitely not a visual thing because, you know, you're well, frankly Goldilocks you're smoking hot" Madge snorts "maybe not when you do that but-" they laugh again and I almost forget I'm watching them in the games. I'm glad they're still able to feel even a little bit of reprieve

"What about you? How many lucky ladies have had the honour of being on your arm?"

"None, there's been girls but none of them ever stuck you know?"

"No, I don't" Madge says bluntly before they laugh again

"Always had a thing for this one girl though" Madge turns her head to look at Orion and he smiles

"Does she know?"

"Nah"

"How come?"

"She's a townie" Orion says simply

"I see" Madge nods looking thoughtful "tell me about her" Orion smiles

"She's a pain in the ass" I can't help my own laughter but there's nothing but fondness in his tone, i don't feel like I'm watching the games "she's so loud, always smiling and always happy you know. You don't see that much" especially not in 12

"What does she look like?" Madge wonders

"Typical townie, head of blonde ringlets and giant blue eyes but she's got these pouty lips and dimples in her cheeks. She looks a little like you actually, bout an inch shorter and a little more curvy ... no offence"

"None taken" Madge smiles widely

"And I know it was never gonna happen but I was always just drawn to her you know?"

"Yeah" Madge grins, they're quiet for a while before Madge opens her mouth to speak again "I know who you're talking about" Orion grins at the sky

"Yeah, I know"

"She wouldn't care, that you're- whatever- from the Seam"

"I know that too" Orion says, his tone more sullen

"So what's the problem?"

"I care. I couldn't provide for her the way I'd want to, why drag someone you love down with you when she could be happier with someone else?"

"I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard, she'd have to adjust but if you love someone ..." Madge sighs "We're not all like that you know, Townies, some of them are prejudice sure but most wouldn't care, given the chance"

"I know that now and for the record, if anyone in 12's watching this and you're from the Seam, go talk to a Townie" Madge smiles at Orion

"And the same goes for you Townies, go-" the power is cut before Madge finishes her sentence but it was clear where it was going and I can't help but think that power outage was created purposefully, I'm proven right when the tv flickers to life again less than a minute later.

"You could tell her now" Madge offers

"What good would that do? Bring her a whole lot of unnecessary attention, she'd feel awful when I die" Madge flinches, that's the first time either of them has spoken as if they aren't coming home. Madge breaths deeply then bites her lip to stop the wetness leaking from her eyes

"She will anyway, she always does" Madge tells him, it's beyond infuriating not knowing who they're talking about

"Why make it worse? You know she'd feel guilty"

"I think it's a bit late for that, I'm pretty certain every girl in Panem is hoping you're talking about them, whether they live in 12 or not, they're going to be heartbroken"

"That's a lot of hope" Orion mutters

"That's just the effect you have"

"No, that's what you've given me Madge. Before you I was ready to go into the mines and probably never have a family but now, you've given me hope for something more" they're quiet again for a short while, their conversation walking a very thin line "I know" Orion finally breaks their silence

"What?" Madge asks almost sleepily

"I know who it is you like too"

"I don't like anyone"

"Like hell you don't!"

"I don't!" Madge argues

"You're not foolin' me Madge" Orion grins and shakes his head

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"That may be true. You're so careful about hiding it you may even be fooling yourself" Orion laughs, Madge swallows "don't worry he doesn't know, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't know if you confessed by painting it on his front door. My brother and I noticed though"

"Noticed what?" Madge's voice breaks and she has to clear her throat "what are you even talking about?"

"How you make a point of not looking at him, to the point where you're looking the opposite direction. Unless of course you're watching him in a reflection, a window, a mirror, that's why you're always fixing your hair" Orion looks across at Madge but she remains seemingly bored "not enough? okay, how about whenever he shows a remote interest in a girl you'll show up to school the next day with you're hair in a ponytail and no make up on like there's no point in trying anymore"

"I hardly wear make up and my hair is always up" Madge chortles

"Because there's always girls flapping around him"

"True"

"Ha! You admit it!"

"No-"

"You just said!"

"Okay, okay, I admit it"

"Yeah?!"

"Yeah. You're sure he doesn't know?"

"Na, he's oblivious"

"I was thinking maybe I should have said something but what good would that have done?"

"May have changed the way he saw you, given you some closure"

"And what would I have gained from that?"

"I don't know, not having the person you could be in love with be an ass to you" Orion offers sarcastically

"No I liked that, it was the perfect reminder"

"So I'm a miner in love with a townie and you're a townie in love with a miner" Madge is in love with someone from the Seam? There's no way, her father would never allow it, it's an unspoken rule that is so rarely broken it's practically unheard of. She couldn't be

"Seems that way doesn't it" but apparently she is.

"You know who they're talking about?" Gale and Thom are close, maybe he does

"I reckon it's the shoe makers daughter, Cartright?"

"Delly?"

"She's the biggest pain in the ass I can think of" Gale mutters

"What about Madge? You think that's true?"

"What Undersee? Liking a miner? Nah, there's no way"

"She just said"

"Probably for the sponsors, get some interest from them"

"Why not just tell Ceaser when he asked in the interviews? More people would've seen it, they don't even know we saw that"

"Maybe they didn't want anyone to see it" Gale shrugs "I don't know".

Gale and I fall asleep in front of the tv. My sleep is fitful and Gale is even more restless, I wonder if it's for the same reason as my unrest. When there's nothing left to distract me the guilt I feel is soul crushing, that should be me in that arena not Madge, she's there for Prim, she's saved her in a way I never could. Had I volunteered I wouldn't have come back and if I had nothing would've ever been the same. Madge is saving us all and for that I will never stop owing her. Then there's Darius and his declaration of rebellion, how my father had chosen to become a rebel and how he would probably still be alive if he hadn't.


	13. Chapter 13

The morning drags painfully. I've never been in a hurry to watch the games, not a single second of them but I find myself staring at the televisions in school all day willing them to turn on so I can be sure Madge is okay. When lunch finally comes Madge's absence is more noticeable than I ever could've imagined. After a few minutes of staring mindlessly at the seat opposite me the tv above me finally comes to life.

The boy from 8 killed the girl from 6 last night and because it's a death they show it even though he's apologising and balling his eyes out the whole time. With her death we've reached the final 8 and that means reporters. They don't show anything of Madge and Orion and I tell myself that's a good thing. I try not to think about it for the rest of the day but no matter how hard I try the thoughts come unbidden to my mind.

I pick Prim, Rory and Vick up at the end of the day. According to Rory, Gale mentioned he wouldn't be walking home with us because there was somewhere he had to be. I have a feeling I know exactly where that is. I decide to take the kids home then find Gale but I'm sidetracked when Prim points out someone sitting hunched over in the meadow between town and the seam, it's smaller than the one the fence runs through behind my house and nowhere near as beautiful. In fact it's not even a meadow anymore, the grass is brown and dry and not much else grows there, as a result it's usually vacant.

It doesn't take me long to realise the man sobbing in the field is Thom, he started working in the mines last year and I assumed that's where he'd be but obviously not. I hesitate in going to him, he clearly wanted to be alone and I can't deny I've been wishing for Madge to come back, by default wishing his younger brother didn't. I really have no right to be here, my sibling is safe but I can't just walk away

"Thom?" he turns to look over his shoulder and my breath catches. There's something especially heart breaking about seeing a grown man cry. Fresh tears wet his cheeks and his eyes and nose are leaking. He wipes both with the sleeve of his shirt and turns away from me again

"Hello Katniss" I sit beside him and take in the scene he so avidly watches. The foreground is grey and decrepit, it holds no beauty, no allure, no nothing. But beyond it, beyond the fence which is visible from here, there is lush green, nature, freedom and a setting sun. I have had a taste of it and will always want more. I can't imagine how trapped, confined, the longing or the wonder Thom feels when he sees it, or perhaps he doesn't feel anything at all, perhaps he feels empty "it's like something inside you dies isn't it? When their names are called" that's exactly how it felt, when they called Prim's name I was ready to die "2 months, 2 months and I could have gone for him" I struggle for something to say but Thom never gives me the chance "you're friends with the girl aren't you? Madge?"

"I-"

"She seems nice" I frown. Thom's as prejudice as Gale when it comes to townies, he's been in countless fights because of it "Orion seems to like her a lot, she can't be all that bad"

"She's not" I say simply

"Trained for the games I reckon" Thom mutters wiping his eyes

"She's just doing what she can" I defend Madge, the argument bubbling out of me before I can stop it

"She's saved his ass a few times, can't fault her for that" Thom agrees "he's been telling her bed time stories too" he murmurs, his lips attempting a smile

"Goldilocks? I heard it was from a fairytale?"

"My mother always told it before we went to sleep, Orion liked how she described the woods in the story. Think he's trying to make the arena less scary you know"

"That's smart, if it's helping him cope" I try to offer comfort but the arena is scary, he should be on his guard not making it into a fairytale

"I think he's alright" Thom says as if trying to convince himself "she's got his back"

"They're friends and Madge is a good friend"

"Yeah" Thom snorts "took me two years to riddle Cartright's name out of him, she got him talking about it on live television in less than a week"

"Different circumstances" I offer "Gale guessed it was Delly"

"She's the biggest pain in the ass I know"

"That's what Gale said" Thom almost laughs but his throat is still thick from crying "you know who Madge was talking about?" I wonder, Thom nods "and?"

"It ain't my place to say" he says shaking his head

"It's not you is it" I joke, earning another attempt at a smile

"Nah I'll try my best, you know, after what Orion said about talking to one of them but you know how I feel about townies"

"Could be worse" I say nudging his arm "could be Gale" when Thom doesn't even offer and attempt of a smile at my most amusing comment I realise that, that's exactly who Madge was talking about. It all makes sense, a future miner, from the seam. 'I always had a thing for hunters', that's why everyone looked at us. 'Not having the man you might love be an ass', that's an understatement for how Gale behaved towards Madge "it is isn't it? It's Gale?" Thom shrugs

"It was just a theory me and Orion used to joke about. He believed it more than I did, turns out he was right"

"And Gale doesn't know?"

"Dunno, he's been completely blind to it so far. Hasn't mentioned it but he hasn't said her name since the first night he came to my house with liquor. Scared of how I'll react I think"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be making you talk about these things" I stammer quickly, realising my monumental mistake and complete lack of sensitivity

"No!" Thom holds up his hand to stop me "it's nice, having someone talk to me properly, everyone's tip toeing 'round me like I'll shatter, I can't stand it!"

"Well any time you want to talk to someone completely oblivious and insensitive you know where I am"

"Thanks, I might just take you up on that" I squeeze his shoulder as I stand "hey Katniss?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't say anything to Gale"

"I won't, not my place right?"

"Right" Thom nods and I lift my hand in a poor imitation of a wave. As I walk to the abandoned building Darius referred to as HQ I wonder how I could be so oblivious to everything around me. Madge always said that, often when I'd catch Peeta Mellark staring at me -boy am I glad I finally got that off my chest - but I never could have imagined half the things that have been revealed to me since the reaping.


	14. Chapter 14

Darius is there when I arrive but he looks ready to leave

"Katniss" he greets me

"Hi" I return halfheartedly

"I have to go, I'm on duty until tomorrow morning"

"Is Gale here?" Darius nods and looks towards the door in the corner

"Never leaves. He's here every minute he has free"

"Is he safe? Is it safe for him to be involved in this?"

"No one's safe Katniss, that's what we're doing here. We want to change that" he says sadly and starts towards the door

"Darius?" I stop him

"Yeah?"

"The parachute they got, do you know what it was about? What the note said?"

"Sure do. It was from me"

"What? How?"

"I got in touch with Haymitch, she needed something to get her back on track after the mutt so I sent her the dice"

"You can do that?" Darius nods "what's so special about the dice?"

"We played backgammon with them" Darius' eyes lose focus and he smiles to himself "took me two years to work out she was letting me win" his tone is sad but his smile fond "I'll miss her"

"You said she was coming home"

"Oh yeah, she' ready for those games. From the moment she stepped into that arena she was a victor, there's not a chance she won't be coming home. I just hate to think she wont be Madge anymore" I nod in understanding, no one survives the games, the victors are never themselves again, a piece of their soul is torn from them in the arena. At that Gale emerges from the other room looking fractured, like he just learnt the best but also, worst news in the world

"Either way" he croaks "we'll do all we can to get her home"

"I wouldn't worry about her too much Hawthorne" Darius grins, his voice still full of worry "she's unbelievably strong willed and passionate. As far as rebels go ... Madge is" Darius trails off with a goofy smile on his face "well let's just say she's an extraordinary human being"

"Yeah" Gale mutters looking at the file in his hands then over his shoulder at the boxes in the larger room "Yeah she is" Darius' lips curve up slightly in a sad smile then he continues out the main door

"Is that safe?" I wonder "all this stuff in here and no locks?" Gale shrugs

"No one's really that interested"

"Surely a lock wouldn't hurt"

"Hide in plain site I guess" I don't agree but I'm not about to argue

"How long have you been here?"

"Skipped out after lunch" Gale mutters, turning back into the room he'd been in when I arrive

"You can't do that Gale" I sigh "skipping out on school is only going to draw attention"

"I only have a few weeks left"

"This is serious Gale"

"I have to do something!" he yells "I- I have to do something" I frown at his tone and he drags a hand through his already erratic hair "I don't know. Ever since you told me that stuff about Madge and everything since, I just- I feel like I should be doing something for her. Even if it's just carrying on whatever it was she was doing here"

"She wouldn't expect you to repay her Gale"

"This isn't about repaying her" Gale says, shaking his head "not anymore. I want her to come home" at this my frown deepens. Gale is Thom's best friend, he's friends with Orion, he's never liked Madge "I know Thom is like a brother but if not Orion, Madge has to come home" I can't argue so I drop my bag and take a file off the pile

"What exactly are we doing?"

"I wanted to know as much as possible so I started with the messages between rebels in each district" he says handing me a stack of papers. I read over the first only to find it's complete gibberish

"I don't understand"

"It's coded, it's not like they can just send these messages from district to district. Here's the cipher and I'll have to tell you the code names when you come across them" Gale laughs when he sees the look on my face and takes the first page from me "here I'll show you. The district it was sent to and from is hidden in the date. See on the outside it says the 12th month so obviously it was coming here and inside it says the 7th so it was sent from District 7. Then the first word is the name of the message it's responding to but because this is the first one it doesn't have that. It's addressed to Cheese 12 which is Mayor Undersee and Papa Goose which is Haymitch"

"Haymitch? Abbernathy?"

"Turns out he's not drunk as often as he'd have us believe. He's a pretty big part of this whole thing" I think over it for a minute before deciding nothing surprises me anymore

"You know what I don't get" Gale looks up from the message he's reading and raises an eyebrow "Madge was around 3 when they started to train her right?"

"Yeah, what's your point?"

"Isn't that worse than taking even a 12 year old?"

"Of course it is ... but they never planned to let her stay in the games, the rescue mission was well planned but they needed the next two years"

"I don't understand why she did it, volunteered for Prim, I'll owe her for the rest of my life and I'll never be able to thank her enough but that doesn't mean I understand it"

"I do" Gale murmurs going back to scanning the papers on his lap "her whole life has been about stopping this, stopping the deaths of innocent children. To her, volunteering for Prim, saving her ... it was second nature".

We stay there until it's dark out, I don't mention Thom or anything we discussed. I learn that in the last eight years there have been 52 attempts to at explosions, floods and collapses in the mines. Of those 52, Madge with only minor help has prevented 48, saving literally hundreds of lives, without accounting for the families that would have suffered if said miners had been killed. I learn that Madge with the help of her father, has prevented multiple attempts at burning the hob. I learn Mayor Undersee hides every infraction committed including Gale and I's poaching. I learn Darius originates from 2 and was placed in 12 as a spy because it's not as strict here and information is easily accessed from our drunk and careless peacekeepers. I learn that Haymitch Abbernathy is quite influential in this whole thing and every time he's in the capitol, new information is returned and plans cemented. I learn that a number of past victors are involved with the rebellion. Finnick O'dair, or sweetness as he code named himself, Johanna Mason, or hotness. Blight, another district 7 victor goes by hook, Beetee and Wiress, victors from 3, go by proton and electron. Chaff and Seeder from 11 are knows as chips and dip, someone from 8, referred to as Paylor is code named Doc. There are even capitol rebels but I don't get that far into the list.

"It's late" I point out, Gale grunts "really late"

"Hang on" he holds up a finger without looking away from his page

"Gale!"

"Alright!"

"It'll look suspicious if we leave it any later!"

"Fine!" Gale seethes and begins packing away papers. I blow out the candles we've been reading by and we creep away from the building. We stick to the back of the merchant shops until we're far enough away from the building that if we got caught, no one would realise where we come from. We get halfway down the alley between the shoe shop and the bakery before the silhouette of a man appears at the other end and we freeze. Rye Mellark continues towards us unaware but inevitably glances up to find us pressed against the bakery wall

"Oh!" he jumps back startled "wait, is that?" he squints through the shadows and steps closer "Hawthorne" he snickers "thought you took your girls to the slagheap"

"Ew" I gasp at the insinuation "that is so not what we were doing"

"Katniss!" Rye barks with laughter "ouch Hawthorne bet that hurt"

"Goodbye Mellark" Gale mutters

"Night Hawthorne" Rye smirks "Everdeen" he nods decidedly more polite. I nod back and follow after Gale

"I really hate that guy" Gale mutters hen I catch him

"I know, it's because you're so similar" Gale stops and glares at me, I shrug "what? You are" I push "you'd probably be friends if you just listened to what Madge and Orion said"

"What? Talk to a townie? Yeah right"

"Why not?!" I demand. There's nothing wrong with most of them, especially the Mellark's

"They're snobs" I stop and fold my arms over my chest

"Like Madge was a snob?" I snap

"She's not"

"Not now you've given her a chance" I point out "and I hate to say it but you should give someone else a chance. I don't want it to be true but it might be too late for Madge" I hate the truth in my words but there's never certainty in the games

"It's not too late!" I'm taken aback by Gale's anger, I was pushing but I'm just frustrated "it's not too late" he says softly "she has to come home"

"Huh" Gale and I startle at the voice behind us and turn to find Thom on Gale's porch steps "guess you're not as oblivious as I thought"

"Thom -" Gale begins to explain

"No I get it. A boy you've known all your life is nothing in comparison to a pretty townie you couldn't stand before she started killing people"

"Thom" Gale and I both call but he's already gone.


	15. Chapter 15

The final 8 don't last long. Not five minutes after the crews from the capitol step off the trains, the girl from 5 is butchered by the careers, sending the reporters there back where they came from. Less than an hour later the boy from 3 kills for the first time by smashing the boy from 8 over the head with a rock. He takes off, gripping the weapon in his bloody hand and runs right in to Madge and Orion's camp at the top of the waterfall. They try to talk him down, tell him to just turn around and go back the way he came but he's desperate and dehydrated so instead, he attacks by racing towards them wielding the jagged rock above his head.

Orion takes the first hit, the force disorientates him and the sharp edge of the rock gashes his temple and cheek. As Madge is reaching the boy he swings his arm back and catches her jaw, sending her careening back and she lands in the remnants of their campfire. When the boy sees Orion is still down he falls to his knees and begins to pummel him with the rock but only gets in a few body shots before Madge is back on her feet. It's just like every other time I've seen Madge kill. My heart beat slows, my breathing shallows and time seems to stop. We get a glimpse of the boys face as he realises his fate, feeling Madge's hands wrap around his head and jaw then his eye lids flutter shut before she jerks her arms and he falls face down beside Orion, his head at an odd angle. His cannon sounds but Madge is already trying to wake Orion, when he doesn't immediately rouse she checks his pulse but doesn't seem to get anything so she lays her head on his chest, listening for a heartbeat and watching for the rise and fall of his breathing. When she begins to shake I realise the cannon was not the boy from 3's.

I watch Madge do the same checks on the boy from 3, he is definitely dead, it was a shared cannon.

As Orion's death starts to sink in and a blanket of silence falls over 12, Madge leans over him again. She checks his pulse, then holds her ear near his mouth. At first I'm not sure, but then I see it, a strand of Madge's hair moves a fraction

"Orion!" Madge screams "Orion" she shakes his shoulders but it has no effect "Orion!" she yells once more, this time slapping him across the face and his eyes snap open

"Owwww" he groans, Madge falls on top of him and wraps her arms around his shoulders, letting out a choked sigh of relief like everyone around me. I'm still holding my breath

"You idiot!" she leans back and slaps his cheek once more

"Quit it" Orion complains and lifts a hand to rub his red cheek

"You scared me!"

"You slapped me" Orion shoots back

"Because you scared me!" to this, Orion smiles and Madge hugs him again.

The remaining careers, the boys from 1 and 2 and the girl from 4, are hunting down Madge and Orion. They aren't anywhere close but that doesn't mean I don't get pissed when a camera crew starts pushing people around to get to Orion's family who happen to be beside us. The mayor kept them occupied as long as he could, gushing about how proud he is of Madge being in the final 5. I'd watched in awe as he spun them a tale of a young girl excited to have a chance at being a victor and her proud, completely healthy, non - bedridden parents. But now they're heading in this direction and I want to rip every purple hair off the yappy reporters head, her brows and eyelashes included

"Here they are!" she trills, having spotted the Meadows' at the front of the crowd. I purposefully move to block her path and she looks me up and down with pursed lips and a look of indignation "well" she sneers "we were warned" she looks away from me and over her shoulder at the two men behind her. One, a young man with yellow hair like Ceaser Flickerman's - this year, but it's styled into spikes and he has metal rings in his nose lip and each eyebrow. The other is older with slicked back black hair and his eyes have been altered, one pink, one blue, he carries a computerised tablet and wears a headset while the first has a camera held away from him on a mechanic arm. The woman pushes by me muttering something about savages and reaches out with clawed fingers for Orion's parents.

I watch the woman flap around, posing them and scrunching up her nose as she tries to tame Thom's hair

"It'll have to do" she says eventually. Her entire demeanour changes when a tiny red light on the camera begins to flash and suddenly she's grinning at the lens

"Live in 5. 4. 3" the man with mismatched eyes trails off then nods to the prissy woman and she smiles creepily

"Hello! And welcome back to District 12, where I 'm with the Meadows family. Tell me what was it like when you thought Orion had died?" Thom's eyes bulge out of his head and saliva pools in my mouth like I'm going to be sick at her bluntness

"What?" Mrs. Meadows whispers

"How did you feel?" the idiot pushes "just now when your son was thought to be dead, what was it like?" the Meadows' look at her dumbly, can this woman not hear herself?

"It was like" Thom snarls "watching my little brother die"

"Yes, yes" she continues obliviously "but surely with it being so close, were you not devastated to have come so close only to have his chance at victor snatched away. Not to mention his winnings" at that I really do think I'm going to vomit "surely you're happy to know he's still in the running?"

"Am I happy my son isn't dead?" Mr. Meadows grits "is that what you're asking me?" the woman nods enthusiastically and is met with stony silence

"Well what about his district partner, Madge?"

"She's a good ally for him to have" Mr. Meadows answers simply

"Were they acquaintances before the games?"

"Not that I know of"

"No" Thom cuts his dad off bitterly "they weren't acquaintances, they weren't anything. You know they weren't friends so why are you asking us these stupid questions!"

"You're right" the woman nods "his relationship with Madge Undersee isn't important. Who is it that Orion is in love with?" I'm ready for Thom to snap, to push over the camera man and storm off as he should but instead he takes a step closer to the woman and leans in threateningly close

"You make me sick" he hisses and then shoves her and the camera out of his way. Mr. Meadows follows, guiding his wife past them without another word

"Well I never" the woman gasps with her hands on her hips "how rude, plainly disgusting behaviour"

"Hypocrite" I scoff and she purses her lips at me

"And who are you?"

"No one"

"Obviously" she smiles sweetly "I almost feel sorry for you. It's not your fault you're brought up this way" Prim tugs on my hand and I unclench my than ready to walk away "they really do need the games to remind them of their place and all the capitol do for them" I stop in my tracks and whirl around to face the ridiculous woman again

"You'll learn your place when your precious capitol burns around you" I spit

"Excuse me?" she gasps, bringing a hand to her chest

"And I hope you burn with it".


	16. Chapter 16

We're gathered in the square for the mandatory viewing of the grand finale. I'm not sure what it is the game makers have planned but I know the games will end before the day is up. They start with the careers, there's three of them left and you can see how antsy they're getting, they'll be forced to turn on each other soon and none of them want to turn their backs on the the other two.

The girl from 4 breaks off from them after a few minutes of tense stares and careful steps, the two remaining boys decide not to chase her down and continue through the brush. They show the girl from 4 slow to a walk and eventually stop to catch her breath, then Madge and Orion making their way down a steady incline. When they finally show us the tributes positions on a map of the arena we see that the points marked 1 and 2 are rapidly moving towards the two marked 12.

Madge has already taken on all of the careers, four of them have died at her hands but that doesn't mean my chest doesn't ache when they finally run into each other. Orion sees them and yanks Madge's arm for them to run but it's too late, they've already been spotted.

"Orion go" Madge takes hold of his shoulders when he shakes his head "go!" she growls, she hands him one of the die Darius had sent and pushes him back in the direction of their camp

"I'll get the guy" the boy from 1 calls and forks off to follow Orion. When Madge sees his change of direction she takes the dagger from her belt, she holds the tip of the blade between her thumb and forefinger and brings her arm behind her head, turning just a fraction then letting it fly. It catches his left knee and he cries out as he falls to the forest floor in a heap.

Madge barely has time to turn before the boy from 2 is upon her, he swings at her with machetes of some kind but there's no skill to it and Madge is able to escape every slash. When Madge knocks one of the giant knives from his hand the screen splits to show Orion and the girl from 4 colliding into one another. Madge had given him the sword and as he climbs to his feet he reveals the hilt of the weapon protruding from her torso

"Oh shit" he whispers while Madge uses the stolen machete to deflect swings from the boy from 2 "oh shit" he hisses again, falling down beside the girl who's sputtering blood "I'm sorry I- I didn't see you I-" Orion takes the girls hand and sits cross legged beside her. He tells her the story of Goldilocks and the three bears as if putting her to sleep until her cannon fires. When he starts to cry they take him off the screen and show Madge again.

The boy from one has used a tree to get to his feet and now uses them to support himself as he staggers towards the fight between Madge and 2. The boy from 2 has a gash across his stomach and another on his chest, Madge's jacket has been cut and there's a small nick on her arm but she's otherwise unharmed. After seeing her in other confrontations I know she could have killed him by now but for some reason she holds back, giving him severe injuries but so far nothing fatal.

The boy from 1 finally reaches them and pulls the dagger from his knee, only instead of going for Madge he drives it into 2's back. The boy howls in pain but quickly turns and shoves the entire blade of his machete through Suede's chest. As he falls to the ground and blood dribbles from his lips he looks like a boy, a harmless, innocent young boy. Madge runs, a cannon booms and the name Suede no longer seems so stupid.

Realising his opponent has vanished, the boy from 2 wonders far enough away for them to pick up 1's body then falls against a nearby tree. He falls to the floor and removes his hand from the stomach wound he'd been clutching, it's a lot worse than I'd previously thought. Fatal if it isn't tended to soon.

Madge finds Orion before making it back to camp, he's still clutching the girl from 4's hand and when he sees Madge he runs to her

"You're alive"

"Are you okay?" she asks

"It was an accident" he chokes "I didn't see her"

"It's okay" Madge soothes

"I killed her Madge"

"Orion listen to me. You're not a bad person, if people were more like you Panem would be a better place"

"No" Orion shakes his head "the world needs people like you" Madge kisses him chastely and wipes away any trace of tears

"We have to move" she tells him and together they walk back to their camp.

When they reach the summit of the waterfall Madge relights their fire and takes out the last of their rabbit meat

"Is that a good idea?" Orion asks gesturing to the fire

"There's only three of us left, he's not in good enough shape to climb that hill" Orion nods and Madge continues to roast the chunks of meat. We're shown a wide shot of them and my heart leaps to my throat when I see Orion edging close to the waterfalls edge "Orion! What are you doing?!" Madge screams when she sees how close he is to the drop. When she takes a step towards him he takes a bigger step back and gets that cocky grin on his face "Orion?"

"I told you Madge, this world needs people like you"

"Orion" she whispers her eyes wide and distraught

"Love ya Goldilocks" with that he skips the last few steps and launches himself backwards off the waterfall.

Madge rushes to the edge and the angle changes, so we see at the same time she does, the water turning crimson as his blood bubbles to the surface. Madge stands frozen for a few seconds before her legs give out and she falls to the ground and around me people scream out and men and women begin to sob.

They stay with her long enough that we see her start to cry, she crawls away from the edge on all fours, she crawls all the way to the tree they'd eaten under earlier that day and wraps her arms around her knees. She rocks back and forth and lets tears roll down her cheeks. It's cruel how they just film her, I'm not intimate or emotional but everything in me wants to reach out and hold her. They just keep the cameras on her for hours which is something they never do, when someone cries they move off them straight away but not Madge. After almost three hours of silence in both the arena and the district she speaks

"Haymitch" she whispers as she rocks "this isn't how it was supposed to be" she stares at the mud before her and continues to rock "Orion wasn't supposed to do that, it wasn't part of the plan" I can't help but wonder what the plan was, were they going to fight to the death? Kill one another? Was Madge going to sacrifice herself? "He wasn't supposed to destroy me" Madge falls to the side, laying her head down in the soggy earth beneath her "he wasn't supposed to ruin me like this" she squeezes her eyes shut and sobs "I don't know if I can do this Haymitch" her fingers dig into her head so hard her knuckles turn white "I don't know if I can finish what we started" I'm worried she's going to crush her own skull when a parachute floats down towards her, she doesn't open her eyes or stop squeezing her head until it hits the mud a few inches from her face. She doesn't open it for a while, just stares at it unblinking.

I begin to think she's died of grief, of a broken heart, similar to the way my mother almost did. Can that happen? Can someone be in that much emotional pain? After what feels like an eternity she loosens the grip she has on her head, there's blood under her fingernails. She reaches out to the container and opens it with one hand. The message inside reads 'You already did it. Sleep now and when you wake I'll be there. - H' with it is a vial of clear liquid which is infuriatingly elusive

"It could be anything" my mother answers my unspoken question. Madge doesn't hesitate to uncap the substance and knock it back in one, either knowing or not caring what it is. She lays her head back down and her eyes drift closed, before succumbing to sleep completely her lips part and in the slightest murmur she breathes

"But Orion won't be".

They move away from Madge, she gets smaller as the camera distances itself like she was being watched from above. They show her laying in the dirt, soaked through, frail and threatening to fall apart but uninjured. Then they show us the boy from district 2, he's laying on the ground too but otherwise couldn't look more different. He's bone dry with chapped lips and cracked skin, he's covered in blood, most but not all of it, his own. He's dying and soon but of the two of them, Madge is the one that's broken.

He lasts less than an hour and Madge is swept up by a hovercraft still unconscious, it's both the most dramatic and anti climatic ending to the games I've ever seen.


	17. Chapter 17

Cheers erupt over the district. Madge is our first victor in 25 years and Orion's death is overshadowed by the prospect of the food parcels the district will receive every month. I can't bring myself to celebrate, of course this is what I wanted but even if it had been Orion I couldn't bring myself to celebrate the deaths of 23 children and Madge as I knew her.

Amongst the celebration I spot someone who remains frozen staring at the screen, Thom. I watch him while he watches the capitol for a minute before he drops his gaze and leaves like his family must have

"She did it Katniss" Prim squeals joyfully "she did it" I offer Prim the best smile I can then unwrap her arms from me

"Walk home with everyone, I won't be long" she follows my gaze to Thom's retreating form and nods solemnly

"Okay"

"Love you Little Duck" I tell her placing a light kiss on her forehead

"Love you too".

I jog from the square and catch Thom as he reaches the path to the meadow where we spoke before

"Thom" he doesn't turn so I reach for his shoulder "Thom"

"Not now okay"

"Thom listen to me"

"What?" he growls

"I'm sorry" he scoffs and turns on his heel "No Thom, what you heard, you don't understand-"

"I get it Katniss" Thom cuts me off "she's your friend but Gale" Thom shakes his head "he's like a brother"

"I know"

"And if he was sorry he'd be the one here apologising, not you"

"Thom you don't understand" how can I make him understand without telling him about the rebellion

"Katniss" he sighs "my brother just died, not even that, he chose to die ... for her. So forgive me if I'm not her number one fan"

"Thom listen to me!" his jaw twitches but he doesn't say anything or walk away so I continue "there's more to this than I can explain"

"My brother's still dead Katniss"

"But he did it for a reason. You think Gale would say what he did without reason?"

"There is no reason! Nothing could make me betray him like that"

"Thom-"

"No Katniss! I'm angry! Just let me be angry"

"Okay" I concede, bowing my head "just find me when you're ready to talk".

It's still light when I get back to the square and both my family and the Hawthorne's are gone so I start home through town. I'm passing the butchers when someone whistles and I find Darius poking his head out of the alley between Rooba's and the neighbouring building

"Darius?"

"Shhh come here" I check for anyone close by and duck in to the alley, Darius grabs my hand and nearly pulls my shoulder out of its socket in his haste to reach the old shop behind. I'm barely through the door before he cocoons me in a bear hug "she did it!" he squeals the same way Prim did and squeezes me so hard I can't breathe

"Did you know he was going to do that? Sacrifice himself?" I ask once he's let me go

"Haymitch mentioned something"

"What?! When?!"

"I had a message from him they day of their interviews"

"What did it say?"

"Uh I have it here somewhere" Darius digs through a pile of scraps and then hands me a piece from the top of the pile "here" I scan over the note so eagerly I have to start again twice for the words to even sink in

'Boy's in, girl doesn't know but he's gonna make sure she gets home'

"You knew and you didn't warn us?!" I demand, glaring at Darius

"I never got around to it and it's not like I knew exactly what he was planning"

"I'm sorry Darius I have to go" I tell him handing back the scrap of paper

"Katniss you knew he had to die"

"Yeah, yeah I know ... just a lot to take in"

"You coming back with Gale?"

"What?"

"Later" Darius clarifies "are you coming back?"

"I don't know, maybe, we'll see" he nods

"Okay, see ya Katniss"

"Bye" as I leave the abandoned shop, that's little more than a shack, I feel like I've been buried alive and each new bit of information is another heap of dirt on my head. Do I really want to be a part of this? Do I want to endanger my family, Prim like that? Is it worth it? What if I draw too much attention to myself? What if I draw attention to the whole rebellion and everyone involved is killed? So much is going on in my head I feel I can't see straight. Two things make my decision. My dads involvement is all the endorsement I need and just over a week ago they called Prim's name. That's all it takes.

I check the area again before I dart out of the alley, that's why it scares me so much when someone calls my name from close by

"Sorry, did I startle you?" I catch my breath and meet the gaze of Peeta Mellark

"You didn't scare me" I lie

"Oh good, good" he nods and looks me up and down

"Can I help you?" I ask, raising an eyebrow then wince at how rude I sound

"Oh" he says as if remembering something "I saw you - I saw - well - well I saw someone grab you from the bakery and then they pulled you down the alley and I just - I thought - well I - I - I wanted to make sure you were alright so" I don't know much about Peeta Mellark but I know he never, not ever, stammers

"I'm fine" I snap quickly, terrified that he saw me with Darius

"Okay, good ... good"

"Thank you" I say in an attempt to make up for my earlier bluntness "for checking on me"

"Of course! When I couldn't find you I panicked and- I'm just glad you're okay"

"I'm fine, thank you"

"Did um- did he hurt you?"

"What? Oh no, no. It was just ... Gale"

"Oh, oh I see. I'll just be going then, if you're alright" I realise too late what I just implied and want to punch myself

"No, no I didn't mean- what your brother saw, it wasn't what he said"

"My brother? What did he say?"Peeta's eyes widen and his tone is worried and desperate

"He said me and Gale were- just no, that's not what I mean- uh Gale and I aren't together" I finally manage to spit out

"Oh, I just assumed-"

"Assumed what?" I snap

"That you were, you know ... together"

"Eww, no, no, no, no. It's- we're, not like that, like at all"

"Good" he sighs "I mean not good but you now not bad- uh- I should go"

"Okay" I say trying not to sound too relieved

"Unless, I could walk you home?"

"Why?" I snort then immediately frown at myself "sorry, yes okay"

"Really?" what the hell did I just agree to?

"Sure" I tip my head in the general direction of the seam and start walking

"So are you going to go in to the woods tomorrow?" I frown slightly, obviously Peeta knows I hunt, I bring the produce to his back door almost daily but talking about it like this out in in the open just doesn't seem all that wise

"Are you going to ask me about the weather next?" I laugh

"Just trying to get to know you, I thought it was better to start there than with the deep stuff"

"Like what?"

"I don't know, what's you're favourite colour?"

"My favourite colour?"

"Yes" he chuckles

""After everything that's happened today you're asking my favourite colour?" not that I want to talk about it but anyone else would've asked about Madge or the games

"I just figured you wouldn't want to talk about it" Peeta shrugs

"What's your favourite colour?" I ask, changing the subject

"Orange" he smiles

"Orange?"

"Not neon orange or anything but a softer, muted shade like sunset" I picture the sun setting over the mountains the few times I've been in the woods that late

"It's nice" I agree "you should come out in to the woods and see it"

"Really?"

"If you want" I shrug "I guess I could take you out" I don't know why I offered but I have now and I'm glad. As much as I think of the woods as my sanctuary it would be nice to share them with Peeta

"Katniss, that would be amazing thank you"

"It's the least I could do. It's not like you haven't done more for me" I tell him, dipping my head

"Katniss, the bread, it was nothing. I should have done more, I should have just gone to you-"

"Peeta" I cut him off "you saved our lives" I murmur "and I will never stop owing you for that"

"Well a trip to the woods is a good place to start" he grins and I let a small smile form on my lips

"Here we are" I say coming to a stop and gesturing to my house, a shed in comparison to the bakery "are you sure you can find your way back from here?" Peeta looks over his shoulder at the unlit path we just followed

"I'll be fine" he assures me "but if I'm not at the bakery tomorrow promise you'll look for me"

"Deal" I smile

"Goodnight Katniss"

"Goodnight" I return as he starts back to town, I chew on my lip for a second before calling after him "Peeta"

"Yeah" he turns so fast he almost loses his footing

"Green" he frowns slightly in confusion "my favourite colour's green, like the woods" he grins

"Night Katniss"

"Night".


	18. Chapter 18

**Madge**

At first it's like waking up from a deeply restful sleep and then it feels like I've got smoke in my eyes and they sting as the white lights blind me. The room is white, the walls, the ceiling, the jackets of the two women hovering over me, the masks they wear over the lower halves of their faces, their gloves, the blankets draped over me, me. I've never seen skin so pale as the pallor of my arms and that draws my attention to the needle in the crook of my arm. I panic and try to rip it from my body, no needles, no good ever comes from a needle

"Calm down Miss Undersee" the women demand, pinning my arms to my sides "calm down" the one closest to me repeats and suddenly the fact that I can't see her lips forming the words terrifies me and I tear myself from her grip

"Let me go" I whimper, trying to fight them off but I'm too weak "let me go" then the women in white are gone and I'm face to face with Haymitch "Haymitch, you're here"

"I told you I would be" he strokes my hair and I remember the note and the parachute, the vial, the games ... Orion

"No!" I sob "no, no. Haymitch no" my words are incomprehensible so I reach for him as my body is wracked with sobs and I weep uncontrollably

"It's alright" Haymitch soothes, there's a pinch in my arm "it's alright" his voice distorts and my eyes roll to the back of my head. The last thing I see is the needle back in its place and the sticky translucent substance I know to be morphling, pumping into my arm.

I breathe in fresh air, fresh air unadulterated by coal or smoke or anything else. I feel the forest floor beneath my fingertips and relish in the feeling of pine needles as they tickle my palms. I blink the blur from my eyes and marvel at the way sunlight leaks through the leaves of the trees above me, I enjoy the way the rays warm my skin and breathe deeply.

When the first drop of rain hits my skin I smile at it's warmth, as more water falls the smell of iron fills the air and the rain becomes scorching. I realise when it starts to dry on my face that it's not water at all, my eyes snap open and I'm blinded by gushing red blood. It falls so heavily that when I try to clamber to my feet it forces me back down. I scream and the bubbling liquid fills my mouth, I'm drowning in it, breathing it in and choking on its thickness

"Madge!" I wake with a jolt but can't move, Finnick O'dair is straddling my hips and pinning my shoulders down "stop! You're alright" I gasp for clean air but still have the taste of blood in my mouth "breath Madgey breathe" I do as he says and feel my racing heart slow "that's it, that's it, you're safe, you're safe"

"Finnick" I croak

"Madge"

"Finnick" I sob and he pulls me in to a sitting position to embrace me. I'm soothed almost instantly, Finnick has always had that effect on me. When we were first introduced his cocky bravado and forwardness threw me but that was six years ago and now Finnick is as much family as Haymitch

"You're okay, you did it Madgey" he keeps me tucked in to his chest so I don't even notice Haymitch until he clasps Finnick's shoulder and takes his place. I never thought the smell of liquor would be comforting to me but the pungent scent of whiskey that engulfs me when Haymitch hugs me has my heart beat back to it's regular rhythm

"How long have I been out?"

"You woke up a few hours after taking the sleeping draft yesterday, they've kept you sedated until now" Haymitch tells me as he brushes the hair slick with sweat from my face

"When do I have to do the interview?"

"Tonight" I release a breath through my nose as my stomach twists but nod "Madge?" Haymitch begins carefully "the president wants to see you" my gut churns but I nod again

"Then I should make myself presentable" I mutter, Haymitch and Finnick both smile sadly

"Can we get all this crap off her?" Haymitch asks some unseen person, indicating to the tubes and machines surrounding my bed. Two of the masked women dressed in white, I now know to be nurses enter through a door that I hadn't seen and do as he asked. I watch one of them take away the morphling drip and welcome the ache of my injuries as a sign the drug is no longer in my system. I've seen too many victors become dependant on it, I've seen my mother become nothing more than a wailing bundle of pain, reliant on the drug.

I'm escorted from the room and down several white corridors, with nothing else to think about thoughts of the games invade my mind and I have to stop. I squeeze my eyes shut and the smell of blood fills my nostrils, I can taste it on my tongue and my vision blurs. I can't see, I can't-

"Miss" someone prods my shoulder and I look up at my escort "you have to come this way" I nod and follow her into a large room with lavish gold furnishings. My escort points to an elaborately carved gold bench with red cushions and I take a seat, then I'm left alone in the room. I realise if I'm going to do this, continue with our plans for the rebellion, I can't think about the games, not here anyway. I decide until I'm back in the confines of District 12 I'll smile and wave, I've done it my whole life, I won't stop now.

"Madge" I stand as Cinna enters and he hugs me briefly before holding me at arms length "I'm so sorry" he says, his gaze boring in to mine. I shake my head and he rests his forehead on mine

"Please don't, not yet" he nods in understanding and that's it.

Any marks that marred my body when I left the arena have been removed, my hair has not grown out since they removed it all before the games but Flavius insists on waxing me from the neck down. My hair is dry and brittle but a wash and some moisturising treatment from Octavia has it back in it's usual state. They buff and exfoliate my skin, shape and polish my nails, trim and style my hair and give me some vitamin mineral combo that changes the pigment of my skin so my sickly pallor is replaced with a glowing bronze you'd find in District 4.

When I'm ready to rip my hair out at the roots Cinna rescues me from Flavius and Venia. Pretending to care that they've both adopted the capitols latest trend of different coloured eyes was taking its toll. When Cinna takes my dress for the interview from it's bag I offer him the best smile I can

"You'll look beautiful" he tells me, zipping the garment bag closed

"Another masterpiece Cinna" he strokes a strand of hair behind my ear and brushes his thumb across my cheek gently

"I have to dress you for the president, come on" he doesn't make me do anything really, I sit silently while he braids my hair loosely and puts colour in my lips and cheeks, he brushes mascara on my lashes and darkens my eyebrows before Portia brings my clothes. She kisses each of my cheeks but doesn't say a word while she slips a green satin dress over my head. It feels weightless and falls almost straight, down to my feet. Portia sits me down and slips simple gold pumps on my feet then a kiss on my cheek again "would you like me to walk you?" Cinna offers

"I'll be fine" and honestly if I can stay numb like this until I get home tomorrow I will be.

"Miss Undersee" the president smiles sickeningly when I enter his office

"President Snow" I nod back, conjuring a smile

"Congratulations on your victory"

"Thank you so much" I chime enthusiastically, taking the seat being offered to me by an avox

"Would you like some tea?" he asks, gesturing to a second avox with a tray

"I would love some, thank you" never decline hospitality, especially from the president. The avox places a china teacup and saucer in front of me, I instruct her on how I like my tea with a smile plastered on my face and take a sip even though there's a possibility I'll throw up "you wouldn't believe how much I missed tea" I say, trying to sound lighthearted. The president smiles falsely

"Miss Undersee, let me be clear I do not react kindly to dishonesty"

"That's understandable" I nod unfazed. I've been prepared for this, I've been heading here my entire life

"Then let's agree not to lie to one another shall we?"

"I can agree to that"

"In that case Miss Undersee, I would like to know if I can rely on your loyalty"

"My loyalty?"

"Yes Miss Undersee, can you be trusted or are you going to be a problem?"

"I'd like to think I can be trusted"

"Yes I'm sure you do but how do I ensure that Miss Undersee?" I don't have to ask what he means, I know how he's brought other victors to heel. I meet his gaze and place my tea back on the ornate desk before me

"You respect honesty?" I say flatly

"I do"

"Then I'll be frank with you President Snow ...if I may be so bold"

"By all means" Snow nods with an amused sneer

"I find the games abhorrent" I take mild satisfaction in the way Snow's eyes widen and the fact I was able to take him by surprise "but I do understand the need for them" I lie "I volunteered for Primrose Everdeen because I knew she'd never survive the games"

"But you knew you would" Snow cuts me off

"Yes" I tell him bluntly "I did, I never intended on going into the arena but knew the hobbies I enjoyed would put the odds in my favour. So I volunteered for a twelve year old girl who had no chance"

"You expect me to believe you enjoyed martial arts and hunting as hobbies Miss Undersee?"

"Yes" I deadpan "I also play piano to a professional standard and have been trained in classical ballet, it just so happens those past times didn't aid me as well as others in the games"

"And what of your relationship with your district partner?" I force myself to remain impassive and not think about it "I don't believe that was for the benefit of the viewers"

"It wasn't, that was sincere and real and I'll grieve for every death ... when I'm in my home in 12 and without an audience"

"I find you're honesty refreshing Miss Undersee"

"Then I hope you won't find my next words offending" Snow smiles and for the first time, it's genuine "I'll do as you ask, happily. I know not all past victors are as compliant as you might like and measures have been taken to ensure their loyalty. What I'm trying to say Mr. President is that, those measures won't be necessary in this case"

"Is that so?"

"Yes" Snow smiles and dabs his lips with a handkerchief

"You and I, Miss Undersee ... are going to get on swimmingly" I smile and raise my teacup in a toast

"The Hunger Games" I grin and bile rises in my throat, Snow touches his cup to mine

"The Hunger Games".


	19. Chapter 19

It isn't mandatory for the districts to watch the closing ceremony but Haymitch tells me every person in 12 is gathered in the square to watch my crowning. At the mention of home I stop rocking and stand under the jet of water coming from the shower head above me.

"I'll leave you alone to uh-" Haymitch watches his feet and shifts uncomfortably "shower"

"Haymitch" I call to stop him from leaving "if you're leaving could you ... ask Finnick to come in. My mind tends to wander if I don't have someone to distract me"

"I'll do you one better" he nods and less then twenty seconds after the door closes behind him it opens again and in steps Effie Trinkett

"Effie" I breath and jump out of the shower in the sopping wet green dress that's clinging to my body

"Hello Dear" she smiles, cupping my cheeks

"You'll have to excuse my attire" I mumble, giving her a watery smile

"Nonsense" she says, waving a hand "but mumbling, my darling, is a less than desirable habit"

"Sorry Effie" my lips curl up just slightly and she grins. Effie is astonishingly beautiful when she smiles, it's disguised under layers of horrendous make up and face paint now but her eyes still light up and her face still creases with smile lines

"Let's get you cleaned up" she says ushering me to the vanity desk in the middle of the room. She peels the wet satin off me and it makes a slapping sound as it pools on the tiled floor beneath my feet. Effie isn't like my prep team, she prides herself on her etiquette and nudity makes her as awkward as it made me before the games had their way with me so I smile gratefully when she helps me in to an over sized flannel robe and sits me in front of the mirror.

The little mascara Cinna had brushed on to my lashes is smeared down my face and the colour has been washed from my face. I've still got a relatively healthy glow because of the pills Venia gave me but my cheeks are hollow and my eyes are sunken with dark rings

"You don't have to do this Effie" I murmur when she lifts a dampened towel to my cheek

"Hush" she calms me and continues to dab at my face, the warmth of the towel soothes the irritation around my eyes and I let them drift closed, only to snap them open again when I see a river of blood. When all traces of product have been washed from my face Effie ushers me back to the shower and sits on a stool with her back to me the entire time, talking about how they didn't even have to ask for sponsors, that people were literally throwing money at she and Haymitch at one point. Nattering about such irrelevant things would normally drain me but I think Effie understands I need constant distraction.

When I meet with my prep team again I feel assured I can do this, I can hold it together until I get home. Fooling Snow was the easy part, now I have to continue to fool the rest of Panem.

Cinna dresses me just a few minutes before Ceaser Flickerman goes live across the nation, the dress he'd shown me earlier feels like milk on my sensitive skin and to spite it's full length skirt, it's surprisingly light. It's the darkest black, fitted and it clings to the curves I have left while disguising the bones that jut out. It's strapless with a heart shaped bodice that shows an amount of cleavage I find uncomfortable and completely backless, showing an expanse of skin that makes me feel naked. As if that weren't bad enough, the dress is split up to my hip on one side and my entire leg shows when I walk

"It won't fall off will it?" I ask Cinna, only half in jest

"It's made of a smart material that tailors itself to you, so no, it won't fall off. You look breathtaking"

"I don't do it justice"

"There's a reason my designs are selling so well Madge ... and it isn't the materials" I smile the best i can at his compliment and mentally weep at how difficult it's going to be to not go out the and fall apart.

Mercifully, my hair is down, the soft loose curls fall over my shoulders and hide my protruding collar bone. My make up is dramatic, charcoal on my eye lids and glossy ruby lips, when Venia comes at me with a canister I groan audibly

"Turn around" she orders and then there's cold mist on my back, she sprays it over my shoulders and chest, every surface of skin that is visible. Only when she kneels and coats the leg that shows with the mystery spray, do I see it's effect. It looks a lot like glitter but with the light tan of my skin it shimmers like the embers of a slow burning fire

"Was this your doing?" I quirk an eyebrow at Cinna and gesture to my smouldering arm. He simply smirks

"Thought it was important everyone knows you're still burning" with that, he turns to me and presses something to my chest. I look down at the spot and gasp in surprise as his fingers fall away. A source of strength, a physical embodiment of the rebellion and all that I represent. My Aunt Maysilee's mockingjay pin. Cinna squeezes my hand one last time before my attention is drawn to Ceaser Flickerman on stage

"Welcome, welcome, welcome, Ladies and Gentleman to this years closing ceremony, where I'll be speaking LIVE to this years victor. The stunning, the deadly, the sultry, the beautiful Madge UNDERSEE!" he's drowned out by screaming capitol citizens and I have to remind myself to breath "Lets bring her out shall we?!" Ceaser yells and he's met with more cries "Ladies and Gentleman the victor of the 73rd annual Hunger Games, Madge Undersee!" Ceaser sweeps his arm to the side, towards me and I step in to the view of the audience. I ignore the noise, I ignore the pain in my chest, I ignore the erratic beating of my heart, I even ignore the fact that my heels are two inches higher than I'm used to because I see myself on the screens around stage. I look strong, a sexy and powerful woman not a skinny, broken little girl. I'm brought back to the present by Ceaser Flickerman's slightly clammy hand on my arm "Hello Miss Undersee" Ceaser grins taking my hand and leading me to a plush, leather upholstered, backless armchair. Deep breath, crossed ankles, delicate lines

"Hello Ceaser" I smile widely, showing all the teeth I can, it physically hurts to smile when I want to fall to the floor and weep and for a second I regret turning down the drugs they offered

"And congratulations"

"Thank you Ceaser"

"May I say you're looking as breathtaking as ever"

"Stop" I gush "it's all down to the fabulous work of my prep team and Cinna of course"

"Oh don't be so modest, even artistry like Cinna's needs a beautiful muse"

"You're too kind Ceaser"

"Now, I'm not quite sure where to start" Ceaser says, leaning forward

"Why don't we go from the beginning" I suggest with amusement, at least that way I'll know what's coming

"Alright then ... you're trick with the boots, was ... astounding. I think I speak for everyone when I say that was spectacular" I refrain from reacting to the fact he just referred to me blowing people up in a positive way

"Well, as I told the President earlier" I never name dropped as the mayors daughter but I'm sure as anything going to do it now "I was missing the comforts of home and wanted to win as soon as possible. How long can you expect a girl to go without lemon tea and a hairbrush"

"Too true" Ceaser chuckles "Now, six tributes fell by your hands" I'm going to be sick "care to tell us where you learnt how to do that?"

"If I told you I'd have to kill you" I tease

"We've been here before" Ceaser laughs, as does the audience "I have to say Madge; I have never been so happy about a winner, I know I speak for countless others when I say; I'm glad you're our victor" tears spring to my eyes as I swallow bile but I use them to my advantage

"Ceaser I can't tell you how much that means to me" I clasp his hands and he lifts mine to his lips

"Lets talk about your district partner" this is it, this is where we see what I'm really made of. I haven't spoken his name since I woke up, I haven't even thought of him. I can't, it'll destroy me "we were sad to see him go" Ceaser says as if he was an extra in one of their stupid television shows and not an amazing young man with a future "especially the way he did" Ceaser frowns and I stop myself from wincing, they probably wanted more blood, a savage fight to the death where one of us ripped the others heart out

"As was I Ceaser" I say numbly

"You were friends?"

"We were" I draw in a deep breath in preparation for what I'm about to say in the hopes it'll keep the contents of my stomach, in my stomach "but only after coming to the capitol. Had it not been for the games our friendship never would have happened. Yet another thing for me to be grateful for"

"How touching" Ceaser reaches for my hand again "how very touching" he wipes under his eyes dramatically and I want to claw them from their sockets for making me talk about him "On a lighter note" Ceaser chirps, suddenly not so heartbroken "we're all dying to know. The night you spoke about loved ones back home, could we have a name?"

"Sorry?" I frown in confusion

"The whole country is just dying to know who it is you're in love with"

"I-I- what?" why on earth is he asking me this? Does it even matter? This is so typical of the capitol "I think I should speak to him myself before announcing it on television" I smile "but I promise to let you know how it goes"

"Oh you tease you" Ceaser jokes "I know someone here will be very disappointed to here this" Ceaser stage whispers and I frown again "Mr. O'dair where are you?" I look up to the victors balcony where Finnick waves and swallow the lump in my throat "what do you have to say about this?"

"I am indeed disappointed Ceaser" Finnick yells from the balcony "but whoever he is, he's a lucky man"

"A lucky man indeed" Ceaser agrees "it's been an honour Miss Undersee"

"The honours all mine" I stutter and give Ceaser a questioning look 'that's it?', he nods and offers a congratulatory smile, he kisses my hand

"Ladies and gentleman, your victor for the 73rd annual Hunger Games, Madge! Undersee!" I wave, I smile, I blow kisses, I catch roses. That's it, it's done.


	20. Chapter 20

I sit in the dining cart, I'd be more comfortable in my assigned room but the silence in there is suffocating. At least here I can hear the avoxes shuffling around

"Madge?" the voice startles me, I look up from the crystal decanter I've been loosely staring at and meet Effie's gaze "We'll be pulling into 12 soon, would you like some help getting ready?" I nod numbly and my knees click as I unfold them and stand.

Effie sits on the edge of the bathtub while I shower, again I can tell she's uncomfortable but I can't bring myself to be alone

"Effie?" I call quietly

"Yes Dear?"

"Could you talk to me?"

"About what Dear?"

"Anything ... please?" so she does, she talks about anything and everything that comes to her mind and doesn't stop while she helps me dry off, comb and dry my hair. She styles my hair simply, braiding a few strands at the front in to a plait and letting the rest hang loose. I dress comfortably in a cobalt blouse and a pair of high waisted dark slacks. Applying make up is much more difficult and time consuming, covering the dark circles around my eyes takes so long Effie gets frustrated and calls upon an avox to help me finish. There's still a hint of a shadow and my cheeks are hollow but eventually I am deemed presentable just minutes before pulling in to the station.

"You ready for this?" Haymitch asks, I stare intently at my reflection in the metal door before me and try to block out the noise the other side

"Does it matter?" Haymitch nods in understanding

"Right behind you Honey" he rasps

"And 5, 4, 3, big smiles" Effie trills, then the door's gone and there's faceless people and deafening screams. I smile and grind my back teeth together, I wave at the people of my home district without recognising any of the faces and I listen to them cheer for a girl they hate.

When I spot Darius leaning against the station wall at the back of the crowd, smirking, a small crack appears in the wall I've built up, when I spot Primrose Everdeen above the rest of the crowd the crack disappears. She's on Gale Hawthorne's shoulders, if I wasn't working so hard to hold myself together I'd probably feel something other than empty. Katniss is next to them and as I meet her gaze she gives me a small but genuine smile and it gives me the reassurance I need to look toward the front of the crowd. My father steps forward and I swallow painfully before I've even met his gaze, I descend the few steps from the train and use it as an excuse to look down and collect myself. With Haymitch's hand planted firmly under my shoulder I go to my father, who slips his arms around me and holds my head in the crook of his neck. I hide there for a few short moments before I pull back and kiss his cheek then he ushers me through the crowd, Haymitch and Effie following dutifully.

Instead of going home like I had anticipated, my father walks me right past the house I grew up in and through town towards Victor's Village

"I'm moving here already?" I ask, petrified at the thought of being alone in a house even bigger than the mansion I'm accustomed to

"Presidents request" my father tells me, his glassy eyes apologising where his words can't

"Request?" I wonder

"The president himself asked me to have you moved in here the day you returned, your belongings have already been brought over" Effie tells me, her tone is encouraging but her eyes, like Haymitch and my fathers, are somber, worried "he mentioned something about seclusion, the lack of an audience" Effie adds and I understand, he knows I'm not as together as the girl I'm portraying, he knows eventually I'm going to implode and he'd rather I get it over with, away from others eyes but he did believe me.

They don't even come inside, I send them away before we've even reached the porch and my father hands me a shiny brass key. Effie kisses my cheeks, Haymitch squeezes my shoulder, my father cups my cheek. As the warmth of his hand slips away it feels like the life, the energy, has been sucked out of me. The red brick porch steps are tiring after sleepless nights but even so, I register that I always hated red brick. My eyes burn and my vision is blurring as I reach the summit and the midnight blue door seems to shrinking further and further away. Even getting the key in the lock proves difficult, I drop it twice and worry Haymitch is watching me from his home across the court yard but know he's probably unconscious in his bath tub, half drowned in white liquor already.

The house is a lot like the mansion I grew up in, high ceilings, hard floors, big rooms and unnecessary furnishings. Somehow though, this house seems even more cold and still than my last did, I suppose it makes perfect sense, as empty as my last home was there was still signs of life, this building is but a shell. With that thought I climb in to the first bed I find and admire the perfect symmetry of a soulless girl living in a soulless house.

The bed is bigger than even my fathers at home, the duvet is thick and somehow warm and the pillows are soft and airy but there is nothing comforting about it. Even between the heated sheets I'm cold, my empty stomach aches and I want to quench my hunger but the overflowing pantry somewhere downstairs does not tempt me, I have not slept willingly since the arena and without capitol remedies to prevent it I know sleep will consume me and I'll be ravaged by nightmares. I begin to shake but I'm not sure if it's because of my temperature, my hunger, my exhaustion or my deteriorating mental stability. I fight the tears pooling in my eyes, I will them not to fall but inevitably they do. I sob until my throat hurts but I don't cry for anything except the fact that I can. I've forced my thoughts of everything that mattered so far away I can't find them so I just cry for the sake of crying until there's nothing left and exhaustion takes me.

I'm digging, no reason, no restraint, I'm just digging. It's dark and I can feel the dirt caked under my fingernails but I carry on clawing at the earth with my bare hands. When the consistency changes I ignore it, the moist earth is more mailable and I tear chunks away, when water starts leaking through, I dig faster. When a small puddle sits before me I splash the water over my face, and use it to clean the muck off my arms, I scoop up handfuls and douse myself with them, then finally I lift a handful to my lips and let it wet my dry mouth. Only when it hits my tongue it doesn't refresh me, it burns and leaves a bitter taste so I lower my head to the puddle and drink from it. Blood fills my mouth, warm, sweet blood and it chokes me. I stare down at the pool and wait for my eyes to adjust, it's water, I reason and dip my hand below the surface. As I lift my cupped palm from the puddle the clear water turns to crimson blood and it clots between my fingers, it's drying my mouth and suffocating me, when I finally stop breathing I fall face down in to the puddle.


	21. Chapter 21

My nightmare leaves me sweaty and shaking, I breath deeply but I still feel as though I'm suffocating. After finally calming myself enough to catch my breath I move up the bed and press my back to the headboard. Moonlight streams through the windows that stretch the length of the room, it illuminates the furniture and makes everything seem sinister. I hold my head in my hands and drag my fingers through my tangled hair, I can't go back to sleep, the thought alone terrifies me.

I contemplate turning on the lights but decide against it, it's highly unlikely but there's still a chance Haymitch is coherent enough to notice. I visit each room again, turns out I picked the smallest bedroom to sleep in. I give up after I find a third sitting room because the wastefulness was making me angry, there's twelve of these things sitting here empty and families of eight living in single story, two room shacks. The contents of my pantry could probably feed a family for a year and I have enough fire wood to keep every household in the seam warm.

I realise I need to do something, my whole life has been about doing something and I've become accustomed to being busy. I went in to the games with the intention of becoming victor and I did it. Now, I need to feel like I have a purpose again and there's only one place I've ever felt like that.

The old shack was always so much more than that to me. When my father bought it secretly, so I had somewhere other than the woods to train I spent every spare second I had here. When I needed somewhere to hide treasonous documents, I had it. When Darius and I needed a meeting place, there it was. When I needed somewhere to think and now when I need to feel safe, here it is.

I take comfort in the smell, old paper and the lemon drops Darius and I shared every day. I enjoy the groan of the floorboards as they protest to my weight and I relish the sense of belonging. When I notice the amber glow of the desk lamp, seeping from the door to my records room I skip across the room and throw myself at my best friend. I realise too late, it's not Darius.

Of all the people who could have found us out I never could've imagined it would be Gale Hawthorne and even though he has the power to have me and almost everyone I hold dear executed I'm more worried about the file he's reading and how I failed to prevent his fathers death

"What the hell are you doing here?" I growl

"Madge" he gasps

"What are you doing here?!"

"I- Madge" his brows furrow but he's smiling more than he's frowning

"Answer!"

"Madge! You're knee is- an inch from making me infertile" he forces out uncomfortably

"Oh!" I gasp and jump to my feet "now answer me!" I demand "why the hell are you in here?!"

"I wanted to finish reading this file"

"How did you get in here?"

"The door isn't locked"

"You know what I'm talking about"

"While you were ... away ... Darius introduced us to ... all this"

"Us?" I hiss

"Me and Katniss"

"So he's just blabbing to anyone?!" I'm away for a matter of weeks and Darius jeopardises a lifetime of work

"You volunteered for Prim. You think Katniss was just gonna drop that?"

"That's not the point! Hundreds of lives and years of work are at stake here and he's just telling anyone who asks"

"We deserve a chance to fight back too Madge!" he speaks quietly but it feels like he yelled. That's what all this is really, a chance, who am I to deny him that?

"When did you start calling you Madge anyway?" I frown and cross my arms over my chest defensively, I don't like him being here

"When I got over my prejudice towards you" he sighs and rubs his face "Madge I have to thank you"

"What?"

"You've done a lot for my family, for my family and the district, for all the districts"

"It's never enough" I counter automatically, nothing anyone does is ever enough

"It's more than enough Madge, you've given up your life for this"

"Thanks for reminding me" I murmur and wrap my arms around myself more tightly

"I didn't mean- I don't know what I mean- just ... Thank you"

"You shouldn't be thanking me Gale" I mutter, eyeing the file he was reading when I found him

"Madge you took Rory's name of the tessera census. That's huge!"

"It's still not enough"

"It's more than anyone should ever ask Madge"

"No one asked!"

"Exactly, you do it because you're a good, fair person"

"Okay" I interrupt awkwardly "who are you and what have you done with Gale Hawthorne?" he half smiles but pins me with an intense stare

"I haven't changed Madge, I've just opened my eyes"

"Yeah you're definitely not Gale"

"I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you" I shrug "you didn't deserve it"

"I understood"

"No. Orion was right" and then it's like I've physically been hit, my breath catches and my chest tightens painfully. My head throbs and I can feel my pulse at my temples "Madge are you alright?" Gale's voice is distorted but it pulls me out of it long enough for me to realise I'm going to fall apart

"I have to go"

"Madge?"

"I have- I have to g-go"

"Madge are you? Madge!" I'm aware of the fact I'm falling I just can't do anything about it, I still can't breath and my vision is blurring "Madge!" the tone of Gale's voice makes me believe that I'm looking a little worse for wear, my thoughts are relatively coherent but I can't make myself answer him.

I scramble to my feet clumsily and throw myself in to the street before taking off in the general direction of Victors Village. The air is biting but I push myself to move faster, take longer strides, outrun anyone following me. I'm not sure if there is actually someone calling my name or if it's my mind playing tricks on me. My muscles burn and protest at the strain but it's easily ignored, my chest clenches tighter and tighter so I hold my breath and force myself on. I nearly take the front door off it's hinges and run blindly through the house until I fall to my knees in the kitchen. My eyes fall on the pantry for the first time and my stomach rolls at the amount of unwanted food. At the back of it is a shelf housing boxes of wine and various bottles of liquor. I've only ever tasted champagne and while crisp and refreshing I didn't like the taste enough to reach for a second flute. However something pulls me toward the shelf and I take down a bottle of whiskey. The first swig burns and I spit most of it in to the sink unable to understand how Haymitch drinks the stuff with his morning coffee. The second mouthful I'm prepared for and it's followed quickly by a third and a fourth until my mouth is numb and I'm glugging it down like cool water on a hot day. When the bottle is half empty I know I should stop because it takes three tries for me to climb on to one of the kitchen island stools but I don't. I finish the bottle in just a few sips and fall face down on the counter top.

Something tugs at my arm, it takes a minute for the numbness to recede but then there's crunching and pure agony. When I turn my head I find my hand in the mouth of the lion mutt, it's gnawing on my fingers and I can't pull my arm away. As the creature begins to maul more of my arm something digs into my calf and I look down in time to see the boy from 2 jabbing a dagger back into my leg. Then there's slicing and burning and the boy from 1 is carving shapes into my arm with a small blade and I still can't move. The girl from 3 is the next to join and she simply starts snapping the fingers I have left. The pair from 4 use scorched blades to burn my legs and as my skin melts I scream, only nothing comes out. When a dark figure appears above me I'm ready to die rather than endure any more pain, then I see who it is

"Hello Goldilocks" he grins but it's not his carefree smile, it's something else. Instead of helping me fight back like I'd hoped, he straddles my hips, pinning my useless body to the ground. I forget about my limbs being torn to shreds the moment I see him pull a knife from his belt and the face I've come to trust so completely, morph in to something sinister and evil.

He digs the knife into my abdomen and blood bubbles out of the wound. I don't feel it until he smiles and wriggles the handle of the knife around. It takes my breath away when he draws out the knife and it feels like fire when he plunges it back in to my chest.


End file.
